ben-wa balls

Hello to all,

I know I've been away for a while. Didn't really intend to. Life and having a bad cold/flu for a few weeks will do that. But all is better now. I guess it’s time to catch everyone up.

I know you've been probably wondering what happened to me.  It has been quite a while since the last update.  Let's see,  Tuesday, September 13th will mark 7 weeks.  

This has been quite a journey. Let's start with Sunday. I have finally figured out what it is my body enjoys and how to get myself to the edge. I was so proud of myself I kept doing it over and over. Each time getting there, feeling the juices drip from my pussy, my nipples becoming erect, my hips gyrating with effort to get me there. It felt so nice. I've learned to stop and let my hand linger as the immediate peak subsides then to slowly increase the stimulation to bring myself right back up.

Well I think its been a few days so you're probably wondering whats been going on. I'm still in denial. The last real intended orgasm was July 26th. Thus far, I've had 2 ruined orgasms, the last on this past Monday, August 8th. So my first question, how long has my denial been? I've been counting since the last intended o since the others were so unenjoyed. Let me know your thoughts.

What I have figured out is while at work, the horniness subsides drastically. Which bums me out. So I guess I need the reminders while at work.

From my horniness yesterday I expected this to be a rather short edge. Was I wrong. I couldn't get myself going. It was a bit disconcerting sincei I wasn't able to bring up some visual aides. So I grabbed my old standby, the bullet vibrator. A few minutes of focused attention finally got the juices flowing and I could feel my hips start to rise as I became aroused. It started to feel so good, but I started to feel the clenches, so I knew it was going to be short lived.

I have been reading this site for well over 3 years. Orgasm denial and orgasm control have always captivated me. But I have no willpower to edge and pull my hand away. I always orgasm. Why not, it feels good.
I have tried going a series of days and had a few games I would play. I enjoyed the ache that would show up after a few days. The orgasm was never that great after a week. So I stopped doing it.

Heavens, still 6 hours to go, me having to work and being horny as hell. Just yesterday i had the pleasure to please myself but nevertheless I can't await this evening. Although - or because - there will be no orgasm for me this evening.
We again agreed upon me being abstinent from yesterday evening on. Always a turn on for me.
Now I try to "ease" it a bit for me by putting ben-wa-balls in and caressing my nipples now and then.
But I am looking forward very eagerly to be his slut oder dommse or whatever but having sex/teasing/touching.