off-topic

This weekend it hit me like a bolt from the blue. In the past, I was very upset with the situation where I was turned on by imaging being an 's' in D/s, but in the same time I don't really want to be an 's'. Last weekend brought me an excelent idea. What if I'm not turned on by being an 's'? What if I'm turned on by making someone an 's'? I've never had an D/s relationship, I only fantasized about it and when I fantasized about it, I was turned on by it, but I was never happy about my 's' position in it in the long run.

So, now I'm a bit confused, but on the other hand I feel relieved. If it's like I think it is (I'm more of the D side, or can be), it would by exactly, what I need.

Last couple of days I was thinking about Judgement and Perception like it's explained by MBTI and I tried to apply it on my sex life. In my opinion, it's the Perception, which is partly responsible for getting turned on by being "abused". I perceive and perceive and I have not the slightest idea of what I want. I only know, what I don't want and that's my bad.

Thing are changing. It's nothing new, right? :)

I was in a really down mood tonight because of the criticism I got regarding my dealings with Coday. I came in ready to leave the site and I wanted to say goodbye to Rapid and Restlessly, two of my very best friends on the site. Rapid has to get up early and leave out of state tomorrow and should have gone to bed much earlier.

He stayed with me and gave me comfort and sound advice on how to deal with bullies for two hours. I noticed it was way past his bedtime and told him he should go to bed. It was 11:30 his time and he told me he would stay as long as I needed a friend. I am not ashamed to say I had tears rolling down my face when he told me this and still do. I can not fathom how someone thousands of miles away that who has never met me in person could be so generous, selfless, and caring with me.

Hi Everyone!

I know I haven't been around for a while. I apologize for that. Life got distracting. I guess it happens. As I told a couple of people in the chat room, my relationship with Paul ended recently. In fact, I'm still working out some of those feelings. We started out great, but our connection was a flash in the pan... it fizzled out almost as quickly as it started.

Anyway, I don't want to clutter up the board with too much self pity. I'm here and I hope to get active again. I haven't really been properly denied since my 45 day interval ended last Valentine's Day. (Long story... more self pity). Now that I'm my own person I hope to get back into it. My last orgasm was Friday night. It's day two right now and I'm already starting to feel it!

Hello all.

I feel that it is probally way past time that I make a post. I have been lurking on this site since the beginning and even before with the yahoo group. I posted and messaged on rare occasion in the past. I figured with the new year comes new changes and to try and be more active here. :)

The reason I never really posted is that I never had much to say. I'm a 27 y/o male Dom and I'm very much into teasing and orgasm denial. Unfortunally for me none of my partners have ever enjoyed that aspect of ds either so my experience with it in the r/l sence is limited. As such I doubt I could ever post anything useful. maybe a story now and again.

I know this is completely off topic, but I thought my surogate family should know. My dad had an accident on Thursday and is currently in the hospital. He had emergency surgery last night, but is now in stable condition. They said they have to keep him for a least 72 hours, so I will be out of town for a few days. I just wanted to leave a quick post so no one will worry. I hope everyone else is doing well, and I will talk to you again soon.

Hi!

Believe or not this is my first ever blog entry. I don't have much time so I just want to tell about my new vibrator. Jen bought it for me at Wal Mart and I love it. It is a Dr. Scoll's Thermal Massager. It's pretty big and has pretty blue lights that light up when the heat is turned on. It's not as powerful as my Hitatchi Magic Wand but there's something special about it. At least to me. When the blue lights come on I get so excited. I don't know why but I do. In a dark room especially. Jen and Andrea know it and torment me with it. I've had this vibe for about 10 days and have been teased mercilessly with it. I want to cum so bad with this one I can hardly stand it. As of yet, I've been denied such pleasure. Both girls love tantalizing me with it, always lifting my blindfold when the vibe lights up. It gets me so horny. In fact I'm *very* horny right now. I've been absolutely dying to cum all day. More so than usual. I very much doubt I'll get to though. :( I tried giving a lengthy update a couple weeks ago but got logged out before I could post it. It frustrated me almost as much as my swollen horny clit. I really want to bring you all up to date on what's going on but Jen and Andrea only allow me 15 minutes of internet time every other day. Maybe you guys can talk them into giving me more time. Or perhaps an orgasm. God, I need one badly. They never post because they are seemingly always having orgasms and don't have time. Well I'm running out of time so I gotta get going. I'll update again soon.