off-topic

I know I haven't been around much. Part of that is the chat room, sure, but I've been a bit busy too. But for those of you wondering how I am, this should just about cover it. I have something I need to say to the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

Picture me, confused, alone, repressed. Picture a friend I see everyday at work, a woman who even held my hand. Now picture me not realizing she liked me until she made the first move. Hint much? And people say I'm smart. What a joke.

She changed her whole life for me. Her schedule, her sexual behavior, everything. She's still the same person, but catering to me now. I've never truly felt worthy.

Some of you who frequent the chatroom at the same times I do probably heard that Sandy was ill recently. You may have also noticed my absence as of late. The reason I've been gone is that she got out of the hospital. And she can see! She's just prone to infection. For lack of a more poetic phrase, we've been screwing each others brains out since she got out. It's been pretty vanilla (she's not really my dom after all), but more importantly, I made a promise to myself about what I'd do when she got better.

One of her favorite views is from Taipei 101 at night. You can see for miles, the lit up city sprawled out below you. I took her there as soon as she thought she could handle it. That long elevator ride up made what I was about to do weigh heavily on my mind. My palms were sweaty. Sandy thought I was afraid of heights and tried to make me feel better. We got up to the viewing area and looked down. She was so happy to see anything, let alone this. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to remember what I'd practiced saying in the mirror.

today was the first time i have ever gone outside my marriage. i have been trying to deny who i truly am for the past 13 years, and i just couldn't take it anymore. i met Sir Wednesday morning online and instantly fell under his spell. my vanilla went to breakfast this morning (Thurs) and i called Sir on the phone as instructed. within a half hour, i was getting dressed to go meet him. i walked in the door as instructed and dropped to my knees. i knew that when i walked in the house, i would end up doing more than just "meeting Him", but i didn't turn around and leave. as He walked around me and lifted my skirt, my heart fluttered and my cunt got wetter. He just stared at my ass, i have never felt so vulnerable yet so incredibly aroused.

Hi everybody!
Finally my account is active. But at the moment I am not - work. Nevertheless thanks to the admin! Normal life always is more important.

My dom and I play a lot with teasing, mostly the nipples. Just imagine: I'm not angry with him to get an orgasm almost every time at the end. After some hours of teasing you wouldn't grudge it or would you? ;-)

Recently I gave him the power to decide over my arousal also when he is absent. From today until Sunday I have one "free", any other orgasm wanted has to be "publicy" by cam.
More later. Have fun people!
camsub66

It's been a long, long time since I've posted here. I've wanted to post several times, but I've been afraid, because I have a confession to make.

Most of what I've posted here hasn't been true.

I began posting here because someone I was playing with online encouraged me to post my fantasies as if they were real. We didn't mean any harm -- it was just supposed to be a way for me to explore my fantasies a little more, and to be a bit more open. But as I posted more and more, you were all so supportive and wonderful, and I began to feel guilty about not telling the truth.

I didn't want to post anything untrue anymore, but I also didn't know how to tell you that what I had posted previously was fake, so I basically stopped posting altogether.

I have a fantasy, that's a bit shameful to me. It also has very little to do with teasing or denial, so it's not really on topic for this group. I'm reasonably active online but not crazily so, and this just seems like the right place to post it. I guess I post most of my fantasy stuff here. Can I help it if most of my fantasies are of T&D? :-P

My master has no desire to switch D/s roles, and neither do I, but sometimes he likes me to tease him a bit, which is sort of sensation play but also, there's an element of loss of control that makes it fun. Being pushed a little past where you just want to say, OK, I think I'll have my orgasm now. So there's a slight bit of power stuff there, although I think of it more as a service. But then, my master also likes to feel the sensation of our implements sometimes, and he'll have me demo them on him. I pretty much suck at it. So this started off as a fantasy of finding a local bottom or experienced switch and practicing on him. Learning how to throw the flogger, or use the cane. Whatever. But then, I started to imagine having, not a bottom but really a sub. And I started thinking all these switchy thoughts. About Domming some guy. This bothers me for two reasons. First, the kind of Domme I imagine being is not the kind I'd personally like to have. My fantasies aren't really relational. I have my relationship. They're mostly just mean. Or let's say stern. The second reason is, I think my master really is not very attracted to switches. I don't think I am very Dommey at all, but whereas I feel OK to share almost all of my fantasies with him, saying I want to verbally abuse and humiliate some random guy seems a bit edgy.

This is not like any normal post here. Normally I would be here for fun, for new ideas, and for arousal. Tonight I find myself in a really strange mood. I have had a few too many drinks. I just might end up regretting posting this. But at the moment I have an overwhelming urge to express myself.

A few weeks ago yet another relationship ended and once again I heard for just one time too many that I was some sort of weird unnatural freak because I was constantly interested in sex, and always ready for it. For some reason this particular time it weighed heavily on me. I decided to check with my doctor just in case there was something to this.

I've been blocked for a while (from this site). Just testing again in the hope of contributing something tantalicious for all you readers out there.
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I just have a few spare minutes so I thought I’d drop in here to say that although recent times have been difficult for me, I have still somehow found several wonderful new people and managed to have some amazing sex including some denial but I now feel caught on something of a moral or ethical dilemma. I think I need a bit of time but when I get my head around the implications of what I have done, I expect I will write about it here in some detail.

A recent family catastrophy has left me quite shaken up, and very fragile. I have not been here for nearly two weeks, and probably will not be here all that regularly for a while.

Its not that I have given up interest, just that now is not a good time for me.