Masochism

Hello all! Finally posting something...I wrote this several days ago in a diary entry, and got permission from my Master to post it here *^^*

Wrote this after being on orgasm denial for 11 days...Currently on day 19, and not going to cum until at least after August 1st, maybe longer...eep....
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Fantasizing again...about You, holding a set of very soft watercolor paintbrushes in one hand, a various assortment of open cups of stimulating lubes on the table before You, alongside a very soft, unused sponge. You place the brushes on the table beside the cups, and look at me....I am also on the table, tightly bound with ropes...You have carefully bound my legs with the knees fully bent, securing my lower legs to each of my thighs. You then secured my knees together with a rope looped behind my head. Once You secure my ankles in a spread position, bound tightly with rope to the table, You take a set of earplugs and carefully set them in each of my ears. You ask me something--reading Your lips, I can see You are asking me if I can hear You. I cannot. You then press me back down against the table, and secure my collar and my knees to the table, keeping me tightly compressed, ropes pressing my legs towards my body, forcing my pussy to press outwards from my pelvis. Seemingly satisfied, You place a kiss on my lips, grin, and place a heavy blindfold over my eyes, adjusting it until You are certain I can see nothing but blackness.

Sunday's Journal

Sir has gone back to London and he asked me to write a journal for the weekend, to be waiting for him when he got back.

After I last wrote, I stripped to the blue underwear, put on the wrist and ankle cuffs and kneeled by the bed, waiting for him. As soon as he came in the bedroom and saw me, he started bulging with a hard on. He stripped off his clothes and forced his cock to the back of my throat, making me moan in bliss. It wasn't to last for long though. He pulled me up, slipped the hood over my head and tightened it firmly, then put the collar round my neck and locked it on, clipping the heavy leash to it and pulling me onto the bed. He clipped my ankle cuffs to my wrists so my legs were held apart, and fucked me hard. His cock was so big going in, I virtually screamed and his thrusts were so deep and hard I was writhing and groaning on the bed, holding back from cumming. He pushed the cock gag into my mouth, and clipped on the blindfold, then put the clover clamps on my nipples, causing me to groan in pain. He pulled his cock out of me, rubbed me hard with his fingers and firmly instructed me to cum. I was gutted but he's my Owner and I can't disobey. I obediently let my body cum, then he pushed his cock back into me, fucked me hard, then pulled the clamps off quickly, making me scream, before pinning me to the bed and filling me with cum.

Friday's Journal

Today has been an amazing day, and it's not over yet.

Sir sent me out for a walk before with tiger balm on my clit and the rosebud in my ass. So I walked for a mile and then went to pick up my sewing machine.

It's quite surprising how painful it is to wear the rosebud in your ass - the feeling of being opened and penetrated by something hard and unyielding - makes me feel like I'm walking round with Sir's cock firmly planted deep in my ass, and not budging. After an hour or so, when it was really hurting me, I kind of went through a subbie thing where I was telling myself it was Sir's cock in my ass, that it was exactly where it should be, that my holes exist to be opened and used by him, that this is completely normal and I should accept it and get used to it, and then I went into a kind of subbie bliss where I was really accepting it in my ass and enjoying the feeling of being submissive and being used and hurt by my Owner.

Sir just left to go back to London for a couple of weeks, and I am left sitting here wildly horny, so tempted to wank, but loving the feeling of denial and the submissiveness that it brings.

I didn't orgasm from Thursday morning till today. Sir has been a fiend for the cane all this week, so I have been getting my pain fix daily, and sometimes twice daily. I was on my period, so he was using my mouth to empty his load into but he got very horny today and told me he wanted to rape my ass instead. I got on my hands and knees and he drove his cock into me so hard, I sobbed, it felt like he was tearing me. Something about the pain and the hard thrusts and him holding my hair, with his body slamming into my bruised ass all worked together and I quickly reached the edge.

For those of you unfamiliar with IF, interactive fiction is a text-based game where you, the player, can directly influence the story through your actions (examining objects, speaking to NPCs, solving puzzles, etc). AIF, or adult interactive fiction, is exactly what it sounds like: IF that's intended for a more mature audience. I use an application called Gargoyle to play my games, but if you'd like to see some other options or just read up on IF in general, be sure to check out the Interactive Fiction Database: http://ifdb.tads.org/

In Moist, you play the male protagonist who has wandered away from a nudist colony while on vacation. You stumble upon a castle and before you may leave, you must seduce three servants (and bring them each to orgasm at least once) before then bedding the Queen. It's not a very difficult game (the women are pretty easy!) but much better than many of the other adult games I've tried. There's a walkthrough available for download at the link provided if you really get stumped.

I've just had the most fantastic week with Sir. On Friday he had me kneel on the bed, with the clover clamps on my nipples and the leash clipped to my collar for about half an hour, before coming into the room behind me, sliding his cock into my ass and using me till my face was pressed up against the headboard with me gasping and moaning, my whole body in a sweat, his face next to mine as he hunched over me, swapping holes till he quickly pulled the clamps off me, causing me to sob in pain as he came in my pussy.

On Saturday he had me repeat the order, on my hands and knees with the leash and clover clamps on, and the chain wrapped round the headboard of the bed. After half an hour or so, he came back in the room, caned me, then rubbed the ball of the anal hook over my ass before easing it up to the hole and forcing it in. I was sore and tight from the day before and I saw stars as it stretched me open and slipped inside me, his hand pushing it all the way in before unclipping the leash from the collar and fastening it to the ring on the end of the hook, pulling it firmly into my ass. He then pushed my head down, raised my hips and forced his cock into my pussy, which was tight and curved from the ball of the hook pressing in from my ass. I've never had sex so painful in my life - the clamps were agonising, and the hook was digging into me. He fucked me hard, pulling my hair, rubbing the clamps with his fingers, asking me who I belonged to and ordering me to cum for him. I managed to cum a couple of times, but I was sobbing and gasping in fear and pain. When he came in me, I could feel his cock thudding from his hard orgasm. I cried like a baby when he went to take the clamps off, sobbing 'I'm scared'. For once, he eased them off gently, soothing me and telling me it was alright, and then afterwards I collapsed on the bed and he eased the hook out of my ass. I've never felt so submissive or been used so hard, I felt completely exhausted afterwards and lay down and spaced out on the bed for a bit, with a momentous sense of peace and acceptance flowing through me at having been used and hurt by my Owner.

Yesterday was an amazing day. Sir let me suck his cock for a bit when I woke up and then told me to get on my back, and fucked me till he was on the edge of cumming, before kneeling on my arms and firmly fucking my mouth till he came down my throat. As if this wasn't enough for a poor, orgasm deprived subbie, he then fucked me again before we went out, not letting me cum then either. I love watching him as he climaxes inside me, the sheer pleasure of knowing it was my body that brought him to that point, how privileged I feel to so intimately be able to feel his orgasm shuddering against my pussy.

Sir keeps having this dream about me wearing a bright red swimsuit. In the dream he is teasing me, rubbing his cock against me, me moaning and writhing beneath him whilst he grinds against me. Mischievous little subbie that I am, I can never resist getting something if I know it would please him.

So fast forward to Saturday afternoon, he is walking up the stairs to my apartment, and I am posing in the hallway, my hands resting against the doorframe, wearing a killer red swimsuit, seamed fishnet stockings, high heels and the collar round my neck. He comes in through the front door, sees me, bites his lip whilst making that 'mmm, I'm going to fuck you' sound and the next thing I am on my back on the bed, holding my legs apart, getting impaled on his cock.

Today I had to lie on my back on the bed, leashed to the headboard, with my legs spread and the clover clamps on my nipples, with the short chain on. The weight of my breasts pulls the clamps away from each other, holding the chain tight, and constantly increasing the tightness of the clamps. I start off whimpering, and I end up crying and kicking my legs.

It's very hard to keep your legs open when something's hurting you, I had to keep reminding myself, imagining Sir telling me off. I thought the half an hour had nearly passed but when I looked at the clock, I still had 10 minutes left. It's so much more brutal than on my hands and knees. Juuuust as I was about to finish, you woke up and texted me, and then I had to wait for permission to take them off.

Always be careful what you wish for.

I was dozing, half asleep, having a nap this afternoon, hornily sending Sir aroused messages, when I asked to play with the anal hook. Very kindly, he let me put on the red silky underwear, slip the anal hook into my ass, then clip the short, heavy leash to the ring on the end of the hook, and get on my hands and knees on the bed.

The ball is pretty big anyway, I groaned as it slipped in me, cold and hard and firmly in place, then did as he asked and secured it to the metal clip on the end of the leash. The chain on the leash is pretty short anyway, and with the handle wrapped round the top of the headboard, there wasn't much room to manoeuvre. By the time it was clipped to the hook, my face was pressed up against the wooden bars of the headboard and the chain was held taut, pulling the hook deeper inside me.