Another quivering sub

A few weeks ago, around the 7th, or 8th of the month, someone started a thread asking "who's 0 for '07?" I was thinking of posting to that thread, saying "me, me--weeks already," when it became no longer true so I didn't post.

We had a session of fairly intense teasing as well as pain and spanking, and then he just pounded me with vaginal sex. We both thought it was safe, since I had never ever come from vaginal sex--only, with very few exceptions, from direct clitoral stimulation. But it was clear that I was moving that way, and he did not withdraw. I came without permission, but he knew it was coming and sort of allowed it.

It was an amazing orgasm. Over the years I have urged my body to come, tightening my muscles and trying to hurry the process. This one was unauthorized and unsought--it just came welling out of me. It came in tandem with his orgasm. Despite the feeling of failure--I nearly cried--I relished that orgasm.

I haven't come since. I don't remember the exact date, but I would put it at about two and a half weeks ago, maybe the 8th or 9th of January. For about a week after there was no teasing at all, and while I dislike not being teased, my body goes into a sort of sexual hibernation if ignored for long periods and I can go weeks, even months like that. I don't really call it denial though. Even then, though, the sleeping beast can be woken at the slightest touch.

But for the past several days the teasing has been intense, vicious and absolutely exhilerating. It means so much to me that even immediately after his own orgasm, he is holding firm in his tone and expression of how he relates to mine.

He has been expertly and repeatedly bringing me right to the edge while exquisitely torturing me with the pain I love. Our play includes quite a bit of spanking and pain and the intensity has been going up for years, as we both gradually admit to each other how much we like it, and how much it increases our own pleasure to know the other likes it. I'm a painslut but to know he enjoys placing those nipple clamps--now that's wonderful. Same with the denial. To see his enjoyment of my frustration grow makes it so much better for me.

Last night he included a new twist. I can no longer say the words "may I come?" when I get close but now must say "please don't let me come." A year ago, when I was in greater doubt as to how needy he would ever let me get and wishing for more, I might have loved that phrase. Now, when I'm dying for this new kind of spontaneous orgasm that I feel right there in my unclenched, relaxed pussy, I hate it--it's cruel torture.

Last night we had vaginal sex again, the first since my unauthorized orgasm, and he knew I would have trouble controlling myself. I was bent over, he behind me, a position he had planned, and he pulled out of me and entered my other hole, using my own juices as lubrication. Anal sex usually drives me wild (we've only done it a few times)--leaving me panting and begging for an orgasm but no where near one myself. He was counting on that.

And wouldn't you know it, but when he came, I nearly did too. I love his orgasms. They offer me relief. We have been watching that grow for a long time, culminating in my orgasm last time. We didn't expect me to come from anal sex. My pussy was relaxed and he whispered in my ear "don't you DARE come!" and somehow I didn't, though I'm not sure how. I did experience some relief and slept afterwards, but I know my vaginal did not contract and I did not have my own orgasm.

Today we went out and bought some new toys, including a collar. We've been playing well over a decade, but this was our first collar. A big deal. I'm not wearing it now though.

He has been teasing me all day, with remote controlled vibes, with pain, and with a small amount of public humiliation (not my thing.) Before I began this post he bent me over, with a strong vibrator on me, and smacked me with our new hand crop (a crop with a little leather hand on the end). He sent me whimpering with need into here, while he worked on the other computer and not long ago, while I was typing, came in, pulled off my jeans and put the Hitachi magic wand on me, causing me to unwillingly say "Please don't make me come" at least five times while he himself turned it off several more times before I got the words out.

I don't know how much longer it will be. But everything is good. The attention, teasing, needy feeling is all great. And when that orgasm comes, I know it will be good.