Not Doing A Very Good Job

So the idea of being denied and controlled really turns you on and excites and arouses you. But you enjoy the resulting sexual excitement by masturbating and having some good cums. Kind of a contradiction there, masturbating while fantasizing about being prevented from masturbating.

I don't suppose I can give you much guidance there, but I can certainly sympathize and relate. You may need to make a decision in your own heart before any Dom can help you get to where you need to go.

So I'm going to wax philosophical for a bit. Feel free to ignore my ramblings This is about submission in general, and not specifically denial.

I believe submission is fundamentally an exercise in self-control. You are granting authority over yourself to another person. To do so, you have to have that control over yourself to give. This is not to say that the dom/master/top/daddy does not offer guidance, and can not help you improve self-control. However, in the end it has to be a gift you give to them. And you cannot give what you do not have.

Of course, this is all just my opinion. YMMV, there is no one true way, all that.

--
Seth Fogarty
sfogarty@gmail.com
yahoo: aravthamis
aim: sorrath

I quote Amy and sfogarty.
Kathryn, is it really only you that can *choose* to offer yourself (for denial or something), no one else can.

But I notice (and appreciate) that you are aware that something is missing and you need to offer more ando obtain more. Is possible that in this time of you life you are about ready to make a change, be amore aware of what you really need (trust you fellings not your thoughs).

So I feel that is possible for you to obtain what you crave for, if your use patience and abbandon in your search.

Jed

(sorry for my bad english. I hope it is not to ugly read my words)

Not quite in Seattle, but I'm in Steilacoom...

Nothing is as melancholy as a battle lost... except a battle won.

-Napoleon

Well i was one of those who wrote you last time. Who tells me it just won't repeat again? First getting a nice reply, and then getting ignored isn't all too nice.

I offer my help again, just as reminder, i was the "hypnosis" guy. If you got any interest in trying it out this way, feel free to write me at hexagon77@googlemail.com, or if you prefer chatting let me know what messenger service you use in an email, and i will respond with the fitting ID so you can contact me there. I could answer questions live then, and also tell you about my experiences with hypnosis. This offer extends to anyone else interested too. Don't be shy, i love talking about this theme, even when it is just a talk, and won't go any further.

Btw what the others say, may only be half true for hypnosis. You must be willing to offer yourself during the session, thats true, but once you did this, the control may be "taken" from you, by your unconscious mind as you agreed once. So this may be a way to achieve what you want, assuming that you are willing to offer this control during the hypnosis session at least.

Hope to hear from you again

Daniel

I think I have to agree with what most of you said. I think I need to ask myself if OD is what I want/need at this point.

It's been such a huge part of my submission and identity as a sub for so long, I guess I thought it was just a part of me. I used to practice it with much success.

Now the idea turns me on, but I have a much harder time even edging for very long and find it almost impossible to deny myself.

I guess that is why I thought I needed some guidance or control - someone to please besides myself. And explore whether this is still "me."

I do apologize to the ones I "snubbed" - it was not deliberate or personal. Just probably careless, so I am sorry about that. I will be in touch with Daniel, as I believe he may be able to help me explore it, if he still wishes to hear from me.

Thank you, everyone, for the feedback!

Kathryn

I'm happy to know that now you are seriously trying to clean your fellings and to reassert your identitity. This can be the right thing to do for you now. I whish you succeed.

Jed

(sorry for my bad english. I hope my words arent' too ugly to read )

I love your statement about wanting someone to please besides yourself. I like to think of orgasm denial as a way to keep myself in an emotional state that my partner finds pleasing, which in turn pleases me. Like you, though, when I was single I found the idea of OD exciting but was not sufficiently motivated or willful to actually deny myself.

Amy. this is what turn me on about OD.
Orgasm Denial is like be in very deep love at both physical and emotional level. I like to be in this state of enhanced love because I like my own pleasure sensations and I like the stronger attentions I can focus on my partner, so she can be more pleased which in turn please me more.
I find even more pleasing impose Orgasm Denial to my partner so I can to be the focus of her enhanced physical and emotional attentions.
It is a positive feedback carring both me and she to heaven

Jed

(sorry for my bad english. I hope my words arent' too ugly to read )