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Hi. I am X.Ray Specks, a former contributor and more recent lurker on this site. The person to whom this message is directed, Mistress Andrea, is also a former member whom I can't seem to find. I'm leaving this message here in the hopes that it will be seen by someone who knows her and can direct her attention to it.
As I approach the big four-oh, I have been looking back with 20/20 hindsight and seeing some old things with a new perspective. Perhaps age has brought a measure of wisdom. I can hope so, anyway.
When Susan temporarily submitted to me in January of 2005, while she was in control of you, I unthinkingly assumed that I had control of you, too. You had not consented to this, and I didn't recognize at the time how I was violating the safe/sane/consensual tripod that keeps us on the right side of the fine line between kink and abuse. When Susan then asked for my help figuring out what was eating you, I didn't have a clue.
Later, when I was going to be travelling to CA, I emailed you a suggestion that we arrange a meet at a pub or club in your area and you could make Susan do some slutty, humiliating things in front of a (she thought) stranger. When you quite appropriately refused, I reacted with irrational anger. I posted a venomous flame which I regretted and took down the next day.
Afterward, I was so ashamed of the flame that I hardly had the courage to show my face around here for years. Even then, I didn't realize why I had done it.
The truth is I was (and I am) deeply envious of your relationship with Susan. You have this wonderful kinky subbie who appears to love having all the things done to her that I have long dreamed of doing to a kinky gf if I ever found one. You've got my dream girl, and I am green with envy.
I won't ask you to forgive me, but I hope that you won't let this poison your perception of all men. Before you two disappeared from this site, Susan related some stuff which seemed to suggest that you had developed a misandrist streak, and I would hate to think I have been the cause of that.