Slowly Up and Down...and Webteases
I don't really have too much to write about tonight...although that's a lie, of course I do. It's late, though, and I haven't the presence of mind to think about it in too much depth right now. There's been some ups and downs lately revolving around general sexual activity, but as is usually the case, it all boils down to communication. Sometimes, even with an amazing and endlessly accepting partner, I still find it inexplicably difficult to express wants and needs, especially when it comes to sexual things. I don't really know why that is, but it's frustrating and is something I should think more about.
Sometimes I feel greedy and yet at the same time I feel horrendously contradictory; I want to be teased, actively and otherwise (that is, always actively, but sometimes with touch and sometimes with words or subtle actions, and often both), but this is in itself a sexual desire. Isn't it wierd to be saying, essentially: "I want you to touch but don't do it too much."? I feel like a little kid asking for a very particular amount of pepper on his veggies: "Little more...little more...little more...." And then when I get it, all I seem to want is more. All in moderation is something I should remember, but the fantasy says I want her to remember, and to make me comply.
But as I said, more thoughts for another time. Instead of getting into all that now, let me just share this thought tonight. Now that I'm spending a good portion of my work week away from home, honesty and trust in our T&D "game" becomes much more of a front-burner issue. (Yes, I've been good so far.) But as I'm also permitted masturbatory sessions whenever I want, this means accidental orgasms (which have seen a rise recently, as the chart I made shows (sidenote: charting orgasm statistics is really interesting, and I need to finish that special orgasm-tracking project I've been working on!)) are a danger. Thankfully, I think I've found an appealing helper for this.
I've recently been enjoying Milovana.com, which is a web site not unlike this one (I found it from a link here somewhere, afterall) which is basically a message board and webtease archive (even if a majority of the teases are somewhat laughable). The interesting thing about this is that I'm finding it a lot easier to control myself and not have any accidental releases with those webteases than I do with other forms of pornography, such as pictures or videos or even stories (even ones about orgasm denial). Of course, the crux of my interest in this is why that is. Again, more thoughts for later.
Tonight, however, I'll leave off with a cross-posting from one of my posts on Milovana.com's message boards, discussing my fantasies and describing what they're usually like:
Well, like the rest of the board most of my fantasies involve long periods of so-called torturous teasing, extended periods of being made supremely aroused and left in a state of utter craving for sexual release. Though I can't name every fantasy (I have many and they were shaped over the span of years, as I began reading orgasm denial fiction since I was about 10 years old or so) a recurring theme in many of them is that of extreme diligence and thoroughness of experimentation on the part of teaser to expose my every weakness, either for playfully evil purposes or for properly selfish purposes such as making me a better lover. Often the use of technologically sophisticated devices make an appearance in these fantasies. For instance, this excerpt is from one of my favorite stories:
Once his hands were secured behind his back we began. The other difference from our previous training was that I now had his monitor in sight and the additional remote hidden in the palm of my left hand. I started by lubing up his cock and proceeded to the intense stimulation I knew that I could provide by stroking only the head of his cock, avoiding stroking my hand even an inch lower on his shaft. At the same time my left hand was guiding him to a pumping pace I knew that I was going to enjoy when he was finally pumping into me. After only four or five minutes of this I could tell that he was approaching climax, but now, looking at the readout of my new toy, I could tell that if I didn't do anything to slow him down a bit he would come in exactly twenty six seconds. In the past I would have had to stop and apply a pinch at this point or risk unwittingly pushing him past the point of no return and spoiling the exercise. Now I could simply watch his biological clock. When his time to climax dropped below twenty seconds I reduced the pressure on his cock. The time to climax was still dropping, but not as fast. I eased up further and time stopped, so to speak. With the greatly reduced stimulation from my hand, my device determined that he was now moving away from climax as his state of arousal slightly decreased. He was still closer to climax than I would ever have dared to let him get before. Now I began to play him like a violin, keeping him in an incredibly advanced state of sexual excitement. This went beyond any distraction that he had ever endured before and within a minute it began to show. He could clearly take it no longer, and believing himself to be free of the physical restraint which would have previously prevented out of control behavior, began to thrust himself hard against my hand in an attempt to attain release. I chose that moment to hit the button on my hidden remote, activating one of the additional features of his monitoring system, the shock collar. A one second jolt of harmless electricity passed through his cock and balls. Still, this was enough to nearly bring him to his knees, and his sudden tugging at his wrist restraints told me just what a good precaution they were.
Sometimes this is through the guise of something else, like a sports game or competition. For example, I fantasize that I am the property of an owner (usually female, but many times male as well) who will be challenged against another owner with another male slave: "be the first to tease your slave to an abandoned orgasm so that his ejaculate begins to release nearest to the 30 minute mark but no sooner."
I've found many such stories that add to my fantasies by giving me many more ideas. For instance, even though this is actually female submissive story, the ideas inspire me:
The two were led out, and stripped, then their hands cuffed behind their backs. "The first to reach orgasm will have her belt off once a day for three days". said the Warden. And with that, a guard brought out two amazing devices about 2 feet high with saddle shaped tops and a nicely proportioned dildo protruding straight up where one might sit on it comfortably. Each one was humming noticeably with vibrations coming from the mechanism inside. The guards removed the belts of the two girls. You could see them struggle. They looked at all the spectators with embarrassment, reddened, and then as they thought of the prize offered, they both mounted their steeds. Cuffed as she was, Darlene at first had trouble getting herself positioned so that the dildo would enter her. And when she did, she lowered herself gingerly. I think the embarrassment had dried her up. The other girl slipped her dildo in unerringly. She must have been dripping wet from the start at the prospect of being unbelted for the first time in three weeks. She was rocking steadily in no time, using her hands behind her back to support her on the saddle, her muscles gradually tensing as her orgasm grew nearer. Leaning back as she was, she exposed her pussy and we could clearly see the dildo darting in and out, pulling the folds of her labia in and out with it, teasing her clit in a steady rhythm. Darlene didn't have a chance. She was just getting into her rhythm as the other girl threw her head back. Her whole body spasmed as an unmistakable flush spread across her chest. She was not faking it and it was a beautiful thing to behold. The guards immediately grabbed Darlene by the arms and hoisted her up into the air. She screamed and struggled to get back down onto her dildo as they put the belt back on and added her to the rack that Linda and I were on. How she must have felt we all knew. We were just as aroused as she was with no relief in sight. So close, so close.
And later, in the same story:
If only the Warden had locked up our pussies and left it at that. Every day, though she devised some new reminder of our condition. The next week the cunt races got a new twist. This time she selected two pairs of girls from two cells. One of each pair got her belt taken off and her hands strapped above her head on the wooden frame Linda and I had already been introduced to. The other remained belted. "You two", she said pointing to the belted pair, "will bring your cell mate to orgasm any way you can. The first to do so will be treated to the same by her grateful cell mate The other... Well, what can I say?" And off they went, lapping for dear life at their cell mates' pussies, while the subject of their attentions tried to hold still while dangling from their straps and writhing in pleasure at the same time. The first one to come (and it was pretty obvious) indeed returned the favor while the two losers got to spend the rest of the day naked and strung up for all to see, while each one blamed the other for being inept or frigid, whichever applied. The rest of us got to see writhing, naked, jiggling, coming girl flesh that wasn't ours, and it drove us nuts.
A lot of my fantasies also involve rather far-fetched, almost sci-fi things. Though I've never really had a thing specifically for cross-dressing or transgenderism, I think I've had "clit-envy" for as long as I've been sexually aware. As a result, some fantasies involve turning into a girl and experiencing sexual teasing and denial and orgasm control and denial as a biological female might. And sometimes it's not a girl, but another animal, similarly deprived of sexual release that I fantasize about being. I've long been a fan of the Chasti-Permalock stories, as they often have many of these elements in those stories. Mz_Teneale, perhaps you should add this excellent site to your links list: http://sweetchastity.com/ I like that site a lot not only because it has good drawings and fictional stories, but also very short "scenario"-style stories not unlike webteases.
Here's an excerpt from one of the stories from that site:
This is Minx. She's a purebred, and she's been with the museum for some time, now. In fact, she first began doggie training when she was eighteen -- which was nearly thirty-five years ago. So you see, she's spent nearly twice her life as a dog as she has being human.
As per the nature of the nanites and the sexual energy they require, the clitoral chain provides some assistence: every move she makes, the clit ring (and her nipple rings) sways and causes little tugs and tingles between her legs. But she does need more, so Museum guests are welcome to either give this doggie a bone to chew, or to pet her, particularily around her breasts or between her legs. She has gone for decades without a complete orgasm, after all -- it is only a humane thing to do....
Anyway, I hope that suffices for an introduction about me and is a good contribution to the board.
I'm looking forward to everyone's future contributions.