Another Day 8
A pattern seems to be developing: I am mostly denied orgasms.... for a week to 6 weeks; then I can have one and I'm again in another phase of no orgasms.
So here I am... 8 days since my last orgasm and I am EXTREMELY horny. That aching fullness and tension in my belly has returned. It feels as if a thread is connected to my clit into my belly and tugging at it periodically. I am starving for attention, and the attention increases the starvation!
I keep going back to that Laura Croft story (and why hasn't Sensory Overlord posted here again, I wonder???). It has so many hot parts in it.
Last night and today were particularly intense. We had a great long session Friday night where we both got extremely aroused, but neither came. He is getting more and more proficient at raising me to a high level of arousal and to the edge of orgasm very quickly. Then he holds me there for a very very long time, letting it subside a bit and then resuming to take me back up to the razor's edge again. I am getting better and better at taking him there too with my mouth, and better at not getting caught by surprise for going a few strokes too long. I can "clamp" him at the base of his cock with teeth wrapped in lips (rather than thumb), so he can't cum, but his cock stays in the back of my throat. :p It was hard to extricate ourselves from each other and go to sleep! Very difficult to know "when" to stop when neither has an orgasm. ha.
Due to some family stuff, he was unexpectedly called away last night. BAD TIMING. I was in GREAT need. I could not keep my hands off myself. I masturbated a lot, but managed to avoid going too far. He returned this afternoon, and I was starved for touch and closeness. (So was he. heh heh). It was a long afternoon of much teasing. And just when he'd have me really going he'd stop and tell me to suck him. I give frantic and enthusiastic oral service when I am so aroused like that!
He decided he would cum, so I was told not to stop in one session. But I sucked him, and then straddled his lap with my back to him and rode him until my legs gave out. He was determined to cum, so he pushed me over the end of the sofa and took me from behind. He certainly had his orgasm. Wow. And I nearly had one from the penetration alone.
He told me to clean off his cock, which I gladly did. After a short break, he started on my clit again. He discovered that pulling my mons caused me to respond more intensely. It was very hard to control! He likes making me franticly on the edge. He kept returning to that, and rubbing across my clit really fast, and suddenly stopping. My body was going crazy. I knew I could not cum, and my body was catapulting in that direction only to be stopped at the very last second.
I continued to gently massage my poor desperate clit after he stopped. The ache is so intense and the need to continue is so compelling! My body wants to cum soooo badly.
As usual, he left me that way.
So here I am... beginning another week in a state of desperation... delicious, exquisite desperation.
GND
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Day 10 - Gagging
I am bursting.
I had a double dose last night. Regular stuff on the first part, but the second part: INTENSE.
I wish i had more time, but I must get to bed on time tonight.
But last night... I had to "do" myself, with the help of a dildo inside me and a vib/bullet on the outside. He made me go so high, then backed off. He kept telling me to resist, keep on, focus and not to cum. That only made me more aroused!
Then he'd tell me to stop when it was too intense, too close. Then he'd start again. over and over. I was exhausted.
But let me tell you: today, all day I could feel my clit. It contracted, it tingled, it stiffened... it did everything but cum.
Tonight was another intense night, in the more normal fashion of tease tease tease to insanity level and stop... and leave me here... gagging.
I'm sorry this is so short and lacking in detail... but suffice it to say: I am suffering. I am so horny. I want to cum, but I won't be coming anytime soon, from what I can gather.
To bed with me.
GND
Day 11 (or 12)
(It's the 22nd here.)
He shaved me tonight. (Trimmed short, not baby's butt baldy.)
I didn't get much else. The shaving action stirred me up.
Then he spread me open and just looked at it. I started swelling up and my clit got big just with that!
Then he gave me bit of clit attention. Just enough to get me going... and he stopped.
He put his cock into my mouth and got his service. He loves it when I am horny.
I AM HORNY.
I am having a great deal of trouble keeping my hands off it. I had my remote vib bullet out tonight, and I am surprised the batteris are still working! I edged, and edged, and edged. Stopped for a while. Edged some more. I did it off and on for a couple of hours!
So very hard to stop.
I am aching aching in my belly. I want to feel the burn and I want to cum!!!
He is saying that I will have to wait until the August bank holiday weekend. That will be EIGHT WEEKS... if i make it. Big IF on that one!
It is extremely late. I don't even know if this makes any sense.
g'night,
GND
Day 12 - morning-midday
I can't concentrate! Well, i can, actually ... on ONE THING.
I am swollen. Wet. I should be working... can't concentrate!
I did actually kill the batteries last night. (Note to self: get AAA rechargeables!)
I was reading an incredible story last night and into this morning. (It's saved on my computer, so I don't have a link, sorry.) I don't think it is online anyway. Massively, massively arousing, super extreme arousal-denial stuff.
I can't keep my hands away from myself. Well, I can, but it's very difficult. But I can't just masturbate all day!
The ache is very strong. Very focused on and around the vulva (surprise, surprise). Obviously, more specifically, my clitoris. I have a strong need to be filled! A lesser focus extends into my lower belly/womb. Tension, congestion, heaviness.
I am fantasising wildly.
Tied up, restrained tightly, spread eagle, exposed. Teased and teased and stopped "in time." I HAVE to be restrained to keep from touching myself to give myself relief when I want it. Teased more. Left alone. When will he be back? Will he be back? What will he do?
.....
Gyno table... legs in knee supports... spread wide, wider, widest. Arse uncomfortably over the end of the table. Strapped down: arms, legs, waist, shoulders. Probed, prodded, poked, teased, examined. Medical instruments spreading me open. Clamping my labia open. Clamp on my clitoris to see how it responds to that. Clamp at "base" of my clit forcing it outward, protruding, unrelentingly exposed. Mirror... so i see it, luridly distended, swollen shiny red. Please touch it. Tiniest of touches administered... NOT ENOUGH! please more! No.
....
Back to tantalism doms... tied up... spread wide... each taking his turn torturing my starving, ravenous sex... the others standing close by leaning in to watch. Some helping to further exacerbate the situation as requested by the present tormentor.. holding my legs further apart... pinching my nipples... holding my head as the tormentor requests... pulling my labia further apart to facilitate his access... I am delirious with arousal, embarrassment, anticipation, need, desperation, fear...
Waterbondage.com... i am tied down on my back on a saw horse type contrapion, legs apart and down. Pussy very prominent. Water drips from above in hugs plops, landing right on my swollen clitoris. I cannot move. Cannot get better contact. Cannot get away from it. Very effective huge drops. Not coming fast enough to get me "there," but coming fast enough to be extremely frustratingly arousing... closer and closer... more... more... but not enough!!
The cb in cybersave's story....
The humiliation and frustration in t's story...
Tarrachus' part of my "y'all" fantasy.. the leash on my wrist to pull it away when it appears I might be "forgetting" myself.
God...
I need minding. I wish the b/f were more into the predicament he helps to create and that I've allowed myself to be in! Checking up on me, imposing restrictions and requirements, reminding me of my limitations and prohibitions, exacerbating the situation and withdrawing, requiring masturbation, forbidding masturbation, examining the cumulative effects, exploiting my hunger and desperation to the max....
I hope I don't become a victim of spontaneous combustion.
Hungry hungry hungry...
Over-sexed and under-utilised. What is a girl to do?!
GND
Day 14 - totally clit focused
Thursday night was insane.
I was teased aggressively to the edge, over and over at a very intense level with the most efficient Roger Rabbit. I cannot believe I didn't go over the edge. Those little wiggly ears, just soft enough, just rigid enough, purring against a swollen clit. I was screaming. Meanwhile, the "Roger" part grinding inside my slobbering pussy... those crunchy balls doing their thing at the opening of my vagina. (An area for teasing that is terribly terribly neglected!) The "Roger" stayed on all the time, while the rabbit ears were used to control the intensity. Low... medium... full.... (I must not come... I will not come...) hold... hold... hold... (I must not come... I will not come...) (I WANT TO COME!) OFF. (please not off?? thank god it's off... ?? WHICH?!!)
I went to sleep in a crazed state. Not allowed to touch.
Roger's ears back to work on the clit at 5:30 am before work. Just enough to get me roaring.
Tingled all the way to work, grateful for bumps and rough spots in the 60 mile trek.
Spent the day in a meeting with a colleague who is a fabulous flirt and knows he is pushing my buttons. I can tell that I push his too
;-)
He ogles my cleavage and lusts after over-sized breasts. Tells me what he wants to do with them. (Sexual harassment in the workplace is UNWANTED sexual advances. ha. I do not know why I allow this interaction, but he is "safe" for my situation and as I am to his.)
He knows about my predicament, and takes great delight in causing additional suffering, even though the concept of tease & denial is foreign to him. I think he's a natural teaser, by evidence of his well-chosen comments and questions. My suffering is evident, and he toys with it whenever we have to work together. An added "bonus" to my insane desire to be kept needy.
Last night, b/f teased and teased for about an hour. This new thing he's doing of grabbing my mons and pulling it up to expose my clit further is extremely effective. It makes me hotter when he just grabs it now, even before he applies stimuation to the more-exposed clit.
As per normal, my pleasure is interrupted with instructions to suck him. It is frustrating to stop, but i love his cock in my mouth when I am so aroused! He delays his own orgasm, so he tells me to stop. He returns to the assault on my clit. I get so close to orgasm so many times! Then he stops! My wide spread legs, gaping slobbering pussy scream for continuation. The ache in the belly yawns wide... my whole body seems spread open, available, begging for sensation, receiving no further. He leaves the room for a few moments, and my finger makes a bee-line for my clit. I find the flesh extremely slick, squishy; everything extremely distended with the swelling of sexual hunger. My finger does not feel as good as his. I pull my labia open, pulling the hood back with it, hoping to make better contact. It provides some soothing "relief," but it is not enough... I can't do it long enough.. he will be back in the room in a few seconds.
I have to stop. I am in agony!!! It is so hard to convince myself that I want to continue this insanity. That I am "better off" when I don't cum. That I am energized. That I am a better girlfriend. But I want to cum sooooooooooo bad. Every nerve in my body is pointed towards the "most valuable player:" my clit... begging it to provide the release that it is SO READY FOR!
NO.
(I must not come. I will not come.)
He goes to bed. I arrive after. He throws covers off him to reveal a huge hard-on.
"Suck it."
I kneel beside him and take the phallus into my mouth, up and down, tongue swirling around the head, then down, pushing it into the back of my throat. I stroke his balls with one hand, balance with the other, my mouth not stopping. I feel the smooth head come from the back of my throat to the front of my mouth where my lips and tongue can feel the contours of the helmet, the corona ridge around it, the slit in the top, the arrow of the frenulum. Back down again. I love sucking his cock when i am horny (can't complain about it even when i'm not horny either, really).
He pushes me off before it is too late, and starts on me again. I am so wet! I get so extremely wet sucking on him!
He gets me to the frenzy point again and stops, again.
Turns me over on my side with my back to him and reaches down, spreading my lips apart and rams his cock into me. God it feels so good, but my clit is getting nothing. His cock inside me hits great nerves and spots; i can't tell where exactly; it's just good. But I am too clitorally oriented (I should be trained off that!). In and out, hard, fucking me so good... til he cums. A long cum. He stays hard and keeps ramming me becuase he can tell it is making me wild. Then he stops. Pulls out of me, cum sloshing out of me with his exit. Goes to wash up.
My fingers immediately go to the spot. Yank my labia apart/back, press fingers into the flesh to make the desperate clit stick out for maximum contact, and my massage begins... to get as much as I can before he comes back! God. i am so horny! Finger flies in fast circles and back and forth across the swollen bud. It hurts, i am so horny. Close, so close. Please....... I hear him coming back. I have to stop. He is, of course, disinterested, and it's all over for my poor clit for Friday.
I woke up this morning with that tension in my clit. Like a tiny "charley horse." Not painful like that, but that contraction feeling. Tingling, tight. The ache returns. My belly/pelvis is congested, wanting. I'm glad it's Saturday. I don't have to think!
After lunch I was allowed a 10 minute session. Timer was even set! He teased at the opening, pulling my labia apart, pulling up on the mons. That is causing extreme response, even when it is followed with nothing. And it was followed with nothing. Just kept pulling me open, apart. That makes me so insanely horny, aroused, desperate. It definitely gets the momentum going! Then tiny non-touching touches to my dry clit. Barely tapping. My ache inscreased. More pulling at the labia. I could feel him blowing on the exposed clit which was out there, AVAILABLE, and getting no stimulation! I started moaning. It sort of hurt... inside where the need resides. He put his finger into my vagina to see if I was ready to have my clit really massaged. WET WET WET. His finger came up dripping and slathered the silky juice onto my screaming clit. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what relief! Please.... please don't stop. It felt soooo good. More more more. He was going in lovely circles and crosses all around, over, on, across my starving clit. My hips were writhing, back arched, in the rhythm.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep What is that?! A reminder on my cell phone?
oh sh*t. The timer. My 10 minutes were up. That was a very short 10 minutes.
I am now sitting up here, exploding with energy, typing to you guys. Got that battery charger and batteries. Remote bullet vib back in business. It is nestled between my lips, resting beside my very sensitive clit. He is downstairs watching World Cup (Germany v Sweden?) and playing with the control. Suddenly I'm buzzing away. Just when it starts getting really good, he changes the vib, and gradually works through the 6 settings. I'm on the verge of coming when it goes off.
If I REALLY have to go the distance as advertised (August bank holiday weekend), it will be EIGHT weeks without an orgasm. I know Heather Teasetoy's denial periods and Susan's denials make that look like amateur stuff, but for me... it is uncharted territory. 6 weeks was the longest before, and the first two weeks of that 6 weeks was not challenging. I was not horny for the first two weeks. This time, I was horny on the FIRST DAY. My last orgasm on June 10th was after only about 2 weeks (or less?), but it did not take much of my need and hunger off, so I feel like I am built up from BEFORE two weeks ago. But technically, I had an orgasm on June 10th, so this is only 14 days since then.
I'm glad you are enjoying my suffering, fishcake, maymay. I am at about 7.5 at the moment (speaking in terms of how close to an orgasm in current arousal that I am). I haven't been buzzed in a while, but I am very aroused. Recounting the last 46 hours has intensified things. I hope I won't be this excruciatingly aroused EVERY DAY! It's too much. But god, it is aching... from the top of my clit, up into my belly. Then from the insides of my vagina, outward into my thighs.
The dilemma is... do I want to cheat and get myself out of the predicament? Or do I want to maintain this outrageous tension? I want to have an orgasm sooooooooooo bad right now.
I promised I would not come... so I guess I have to stick to it.
I want to cum sooo bad.
I need a chasity belt, or at least Tarrachus's restraint on my wrists! Tie me down, prevent me.... God...
I may have to go downstairs and seduce him for some more temporary relief. At least he might enjoy his cock stuck up inside this VERY AVAILABLE AND ACCOMMODATING pussy!
But the temporary relief makes it worse worse worse. I definitely need to be tied up. Dangerous.
Aching, desperate, needy,
GND
Day 16
I don't have anything exciting to report. Since the same basic arousal technique is used on me most every day, it's not exciting reading. But just to let you know, I am still being denied, and I am most definitely a crazed horny beast!
Today, almost all day, my clit has been in a state of tension. I have masturbated numerous times. Ran down the batteries in the remote bullet again! The hunger gnaws at me constantly, and I have to get at my clit again.
Roger Rabbit's little ears are taking a beating, as is my clit. My pussy is sore from the abuse, but I can't stop. It is like a huge itch. It DEMANDS to be scratched, and the scratching is soothing for a short while, but eventually crosses over to only increasing and inflaming the itch. Such is the case with my clit.
I have taken to being fairly pushy about offering oral service. B/f isn't interested, but "allows it." HA. An indication of interest soon follows. Then he's stirred up enough to enjoy giving me (almost) what I need. I have to, have to, have to, have the TREATMENT, or I WILL go insane.
Once again, the diabolical dichotomy: the scratch feel so good, and it only makes the itch worse.
All day I could feel my clit. It seems to be in a constant state of contraction, tightness. And I am WET everytime I have occasion to encounter the wet area.
You'd think I'd been given Spanish Fly. I have never been this horny in my life, and it is wild.
Suzycandy wondered if it would cause mental problems. We shall see! I hope not.
Late here. Must get to bed.
A very very very horny
GND
Day 18
No-touch day.
Coincidence or direct result? I am sick. Pretty sure it's a UTI. But the symptoms are not entirely consistent, so I'm not positive.(Sorry guys! But these things happen.)
I am still extremely needy, but definitely under the weather. I thought it was just temporary last night, but it is a bit more noticeable tonight.
B/f "teased" me this evening, but all indirectly. He says hands off for a couple of days. This is very difficult, because I neeeeed to be touched! My clit needs a serious massage. Serious. But perhaps too risky at the moment.
Now this IS a difficult challenge.
It's sort of making me wonder if perhaps the congestion caused by nearly constant arousal is causing the malady! Or is that just wishful thinking. I really want to have an orgasm, and I don't really want to wait til the bank holiday weekend (if indeed i were to be allowed to have it then). I am not to the point where I will self-induce it, but I might be ready to whine and beg.
Things keep causing my clit and lips and all to respond and swell. Walking around, it feels as though I have something stuck between my legs! I do have something: a swollen, puffy pussy!
Fingers crossed that I'm just having a small and temporary set back. Of course to most of you, it's not a setback at all. You are enjoying my continuing and increasing suffering (the sexual part, I am sure, and not the possible sicky discomfort.)
I may have to touch anyway. I can't stand this. Will just have to be careful and very specific with my approach!
Time for bed over here.
Goodnight,
GND
Day 20
I am in the middle, between two tease sessions. I am on the verge of coming NOW, but I am not being allowed... and I will not allow myself. Can't write much, as I am supposed to be "elsewhere." ha.
I am dying at the moment and I want to cum soooooooooooooooo bad! Huge throbbing clit that needs more attention... but WHEN to stop? It is so HARD TO STOP! I don't want to report accurately about how close i am.... but I will. I must not cum; I will not cum.....(I keep telling myself...)
Cross you fingers that b/f and I BOTH can resist letting me cum!
Must go. Wish me luck.
later...
GND
Day 21
I woke with my clit contracting and twitching. Had to touch... soft touches over my labia. Tingly, softly arousing feelings. Not enough to really get it going, but sufficient to create the rising surge. Then a feeling of desperation follows: the need to get urgent and forceful in the stimulation. No time. Had to get up.
I'm caught in that vicious cycle...(I keep repeating myself, I know)... the hunger... then the response to the hunger: stimulation... The hunger increases, becomes more urgent, more demanding... More stimulation. More hunger. Stimulation feels good. Hunger demands more more more. I respond more, beg for more attention. He gives it. Hunger growls, gnaws, claws at me from the inside, demanding what the momentum promises.
So close.... the "burn"... that fire that begins to radiate from the core of my sex, , down into my thighs, up to my belly, up to my chest, around my sides. The danger feeling. Just a few more strokes, maybe even just ONE and I know I will gush over the edge.
He stops, or I stop, depending on who is providing the desperately needed attention.
I must not cum.
I will not cum.
I feel angry to keep promising that. My clit has a job to do and my body is demanding that it do the job. The clit is the portal, the pathway, the key, the fuse, the ignition. It stands between the decision and the desire. If it can just get enough of what it needs, it can give the body what it needs. But it won't be getting it anytime soon. My head knows this, but the body isn't getting the message. It stays in GO mode. READY.
But.... the energy coursing through my body is invigorating, and I love the tingle that I keep feeling. So I will be good.
I must not cum.
I will not cum.
There is, I have deduced, another factor influencing things. About a month ago, my doctor put me on some neurotransmitter-addressing supplements, and one of them contains dopamine and another is phenylalanine, a precursor to dopamine (phenylalanine is converted into tyrosine which is a precursor to dopamine). In trying to learn about the neurotransmitter aspects of the things my dr is addressing, I started coming across things relating to sexual arousal. Then i started googling "sexual arousal dopamine." Then "dopamine oxytocin prolactin sexual" Interesting results.
I think that the supplements I am on have HEIGHTENED my hunger along with the natural heightening caused by the denial. I think this is why I am so raveously horny this time. I have this undercurrent surging through me all the time. I am ALWAYS ready to be handled, used, touched. I fantasize much more than usual, etc. I'm reading more juicy stuff online. Feeling more sensuous in general. Checking Tantalism more frequently hoping for some good stuff here. Gagging. Nearly digging at myself to masturbate at every opportunity. It is wild and it is all very interesting.
Day 21 drawing to a close here. I need to excuse myself to go place myself in a position to get some very badly needed attention! He had an orgasm last night, so he got his... I must entice him to want more ;-)
Desperately seeking something,
GND
Neurotransmitter behaviors influence sexual desire
Your experiences with these specifics regarding neurotransmitters is not unique. I have similar experiences with similar chemicals. I'm diagnosed bipolar, and one of its symptoms is actually "hypersexuality" which is really just a medical term for "really freakin' horny." It happens in phases for me.
This is caused by the neurotransmitter imbalance which bipolar disorder is responsible for. Likewise, taking medications or ingesting these chemicals can have a similar effect.
Naturally, the reverse is also true. That is, a different imbalance of chemicals can decrease the desire and/or the ability to actually achieve an orgasm. There's quite a bit of information about this on the web. See, for instance, defintions for orgasmic dysfunction. A google search on "orgasmic dysfunction SSRI" will bring up loads of the appropriate materials.
-maymay
Day 26
I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up better. Time slips through my fingers. And I can't write now either. But I am on the verge of some serious begging. I don't think I can go til the bank holiday weekend!
The gnawing is getting serious. I nearly gave in this morning...
Also... I have been doing a LOT of edging using the vib, and I'm finding that I am becoming less responsive to a mere finger's stimulation. This is not good.
Now I am in aNOTHER dilemma. I need the stimulation, but I must stop using the vib.... my god.... If I don't stop using the vib, it will be the only thing that can get me going(seriously going, I mean... I seem to be "going" all the time now).
So.... it's as if I have that leash on my wrist: need stimulation so bad, and can't have it because what I am using isn't enough! (That doesn't make sense, I know... sorry.. i'm nearly asleep...)
So there you have at least one little snippit... but I must run now.
And maymay, I have been reading more and more about the neurotransmitter stuff. VERY interesting. Very complex!
Goodnight,
GND
re: Day 26
(That doesn't make sense, I know... sorry.. i'm nearly asleep...)
I think it makes sense. ;)
Glad to hear that you've been getting a taste of what you've been asking for. I hope you're having fun and going 6 types of crazy! :)
--r
Day 29
rman! You are back?? I hope! ... and it still doesn't make sense to me. LOL.
It looks like I am really, REALLY going to have to go the entire distance on this period of denial, and the August bank holiday weekend is not a guaranteed Day of Release.
I experienced a fair plummet in libido this weekend, due, I think to cyclical reasons. Typical. But, it was a RELATIVE plummet. The tiniest bit of attention from b/f quickly inflamed certain starving body parts.
But it was a weekend of "anti-teasing" if there is such a thing? B/f devoted a fair bit of time to extremely INDIRECT teasing. Fingers trailing around my vulva, but never parting the lips, never touching my clit! He did finally pull at the bottom of my slit and do the shallowest of probes into my sex, but never ventured above towards my growing clit.
He did grasp the top of my slit (bottom of mound) and pull it up a few times. Clit relished the slight movement of the hood, but he did not keep this up. Incredibly frustrating. He stopped and presented his cock for oral service. In that state, as usual, I hungrily devoured him until he stopped me. His cock was soooo hard! But he didn't want to cum, so he made me stop.
He probed my sex again to see if the typical response had occurred: yes, even wetter than I had become before the sucking.
I have ended the weekend in a highly frustrated state.
However, it may be for the best, given the over-stimulation I've had with the electronics! No vib has touched me since the middle of last week. I miss (i CRAVE) the intensity it delivered, but I think I'm being trained (if inadvertently) back towards responding more to less intense, direct stimulation.
(Congratulations to Italy on winning the World Cup. Just.)
I am aching, and it is not subsiding... I need an orgasm so badly.... I need to at least be seriously edged for a long time! The ache in my belly is demanding tonight!
It is a long, long time til August...
Achingly,
GND
You now have company
If you have read my last post, you know you now have at least one other person keeping you company in a highly aroused state.I am figuring my orgasm for Saturday, July 22 afternoon before my visitors get here. Maybe he would let you have an orgasm that day too if we both make it that far? Would give us both incentive to not orgasm, even though right now I really want to.
Day 29
Congratulations GND on making it tghis far ...almost halfway to the uncertain promise of release.
What a delicious torment you seem to be enduring. And how erotic your posts are.
DO keep up the regular reports, I am sure I speak for all members and casual readers when I say that the tales of your frustrations are MUCH appreciated!
Sincerely,
UK Controller
Day 35
Sorry I haven't been posting, and I don't have time now either, but it is day 35, and I am feeling EVERY MINUTE of it!
I am HYPERSENSITIVE. Clit is twitching all the time and the ache in my belly is constant. I am so horny, I cannot believe it.
Yesterday I thought I was becoming incontinent! I could feel moisture seeping between my lips, but later in the day, it was obvious that it was my poor weeping pussy. I wasn't needing the Depends just yet! LOL. I have never been so wet in my life, that it was leaving huge wet spots in the crotch of my knickers and tickling as it made its way through my lips.
Late now. I am in for a tease session momentarily. I have been edged every night this week. I am becoming weaker and I want to maneuver a way out of this denial. August bank holiday is too far away! A full THREE WEEKS. That is TWENTY ONE MORE days. It is too much.
I need to cum.
But I won't.
Just please god let it be the bank holiday weekend and not get pushed past that.
Gotta go.
GND
Your Day 35
Congratulations on making it this far. I was wondering if you were still in a Denial Period, but can understand being too busy to keep entries here up to date. You are an inspiration to me, when I think I can not stand my denial any longer, I am going to just let go and orgasm, I think, NO, if Girl Next Door can hang in there and deal with it, so can I.
Day 36
It's easy to tell who is in denial: we post more than anyone else! ha. I'm glad if i am any encouragement to you, Rapid. Keep it up! (pun intended :) )
I have been subjected to/ grateful recipient of deliciously tantalizing teasing this week. EVERY DAY.
B/f shaved my pussy on Sunday and experimented with different sensations. He seems to be enjoying my "balder" look (I am only trimmed closely, so I don't have to go thru the "itch" stage). The little short hairs pick up on delicate sensations.
He has been doing more indirect, slow, gentle teasing this week. It seems ages before he actually touches inside my lips, if indeed, he touches inside at all. He has been waiting longer and longer to touch my clit. A couple of evenings he has only teased my vulva and labia and probed, oh so shallow, into my sex... never touching my clit. It makes me insane. It offers almost no compensation for my lack of orgasm, and serves only to set me on fire, begging.
Edging has its own challenge: the dance on the razor's edge of orgasm, so close I can truly, truly taste it... and the insane mental battle that ensues: will i just sneak on over? or will I submit to my instructions not to cum?
Over and over in my head I have to say:
I must not cum
I will not cum
I know b/f does not want me to cum. He has had some intense, long, deep and enthusiastic oral service. Everyday now, he stops teasing me when I am on the verge of screaming or tearing my hair out, and moves to my head, unzips and indicates the expected response. I will do anything at that stage (not that I'm complaining, because I love his cock in my mouth). He has become more assertive about it though, and I like that. It is not as if I am doing him a favour, or would I please, or anything like that. Just: Suck it.
On Wednesday, he could not hold back, and ejaculated down my throat. It was very sweet... and copious. At the weekend, he had a "ruined" orgasm, as maymay calls it. (It was unintentional, but inside, I was glad... it made him hornier during the week, and that was to my benifit! ;) )
His commitment to not letting me cum is getting stronger. And his teasing is getting more diabolical.
The thing with pulling up my mons above my clit is new, and it makes me crazy. I can feel the hood move up off my clit, and i feel the air hit it. Then he does nothing! He may open my lips, but then does nothing. I cannot believe the response this causes. So strange, the things that turn us on.
Now recently, he has also started to indirectly touch my clit, stroking across the top of the shaft, back and forth, just above my clit. It makes me wonder if he has a secret cam on me somewhere, because this is a stroke that I have been using on myself lately... It builds the anxiety and anticipation in my clit, and I feel the shaft swell under my finger as it slides back and forth across it. The ridge is a bit higher with every stroke. Then after it seems sufficiently swollen, or I am moaning enough, he MAY (or may not) actually touch the exposed clitoris.
All day, every day, I am so focused on my poor clit! I feel it throbbing, poking up between my lips, etc more and more every day. (I feel my heart beat in it right now.)
I have masturbated quite a bit at night after b/f leaves (I am not forbidden), and I've got quite close. It is so desperately difficult to stop. When I am at that point, and I can taste the orgasm... it feels sooo good, I don't want it to stop. My pussy is so swollen around my fingers, so slippery, shiny smooth with engorgement and juices... just a few more strokes... or just ONE more tiny stroke, and I'd be over the line. I have to stop for at least a few seconds, to let it subside a bit. Then I can't resist "just one more" time...
I just want to cry to have to stop. I want the orgasm so bad. I want the feeling to stay so bad. I don't want to disappoint and fail in my instructions not to cum. I don't want that sinking "morning after" feeling that maymay and Joyce were talking about. But I want the orgasm so much.
The ache is constant. The tiniest of provocations, suggestions, pressures, thoughts can make my sex swell and my clitoris begin to tingle and twitch.
I keep fantasizing about being tied up, in exaggerated spread eagle, but with legs in the air, or up anyway (something like this). Labia pulled wide apart forcing the clit outwards and totally exposed. Something huge in my sex, stretching it to its limits. Then slippery fingers brushing across the screaming exposed clit. Slowly, lightly... barely touching it. As soon as I begin to respond, the fingers stop. The contractions of the clit relax, the contraction of the vaginal muscles relax around the large intrusion (fingers? dildo? penis? whatever!). I exhale.
As soon as that happens, the fingers begin feathering across the clit again, slowly, lightly... my body tenses in response.. the fingers speed up a little. My back arches. Fingers stop again. Contractions release again. The sigh....
And it starts again, over and over and over. Bumping across the clit slightly faster, slightly firmer every time.
The object inside me pushed in a bit deeper. I feel the skin stretching tight to accommodate. The clit forced out further because of it. I imagine it totally exposed. The fingers keep flying across it, making it strain. But it isn't enough. The ache becomes nearly painful, the moaning louder. The fingers stop again, but the intrusion remains, making the need stay strong.
I sort of fade out here. I know I can't cum, so it just gets more and more intense and I'm left gagging and desperate.
I keep spiraling in this upward "cycle." It isn't really a cycle, as it does not come round to where it started. It continues to go to a higher level.
I am now at 5 weeks. In one more week, I will have gone longer than I've ever gone, in my adult life, without an orgasm. The six weeks' period before began with the first two weeks causing no challenge at all. This session has been difficult from day 1.
Why, why, why.... why do we do it? Ok... now I need to go downstairs and entice b/f to give me some treatment! I'm dying after typing out the words to my fantasy!
I hope I can hold out another three weeks... One day at a time. I just won't think about how long it is.... but my clit is thinking it! My body needs an orgasm... soooooo bad....
GND
Hang in there
I really enjoyed your update, I wish I could write anywhere near as well as you can. I am still with you, see my update.
.
GND, I have cum 3 times in the last 4 and a half hours (jealous?) and reading that got me hard again. You should try writing a story.
neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem.
Yes, I wish I had cum 3 time
Yes, I wish I had cum 3 times in the last 4.5 hours! Yes I am jealous, but I'm glad you liked my update. I can't write stories. I can only write what happens to me. Stories have to have a beginning and a middle and an end. That takes imagination and creativity. But thanks.
And thanks, Rapid, for the encouragement.
GND
Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?
I wish I had cum three times
D C Woody, thank you for your comment, it is always good to be reminded others are enjoying what I can't have. Girl Next Door, if we keep encouraging each other, we may make it through the next week. I am planning my orgasm for Saturday, July 22nd in the afternoon and am still 15 sessions behind. Have done three this evening and have to go up for another right after this. I am starting to walk very bow legged, balls are very sensitive and feel extremely full the muscles in the area are tense most of the time. God, I need an orgasm. .
Some encouragement
And no sarcasm this time. You're doing something truly outstanding. Way to go! And yes, KEEP GOING! That sinking "morning after" feeling is soooo hard to remember vividly when all your energy and desires are focused around what you don't have, but it's exactly that desire which you truly want, and you've got it, right now, as long as you keep yourself wanting. And you're doing so incredibly well. I wish you only the most sexually fulfilling frustration. :)
Good luck and thanks for keeping us posted. :)
-maymay
Language
I do not even recognize the language on the bottom Latin?
You Are Incredible
GO GIRL!!!
You are incredible to have made it sooooooo long! Keep going and do not surrender to that incessant inferno raging out of control inside you. Do not focus on how you can possible endure three more weeks, but rather on how many weeks you will be forced to endure, if you yield to the alluring enticement of immediate gratification like I have done twice now.
Your self-control and ability to withstand exquisite teasing is awesome. Did you every consider going the final 72 hours without any clitoral touching by you or your b/f? I guess I am a horrible person to even suggest such a thing.
Congratulations and Keep Resisting.
Joyce L.
Sunday was actually day 36
I got ahead of myself somewhere. Of course, now it is technically day 37 for me as it's after midnight here in GMT.
I can't post anything really, because of the late hour. But thank you Joyce, Rapid, dc and maymay for your nice comments.
Joyce, right now, I don't think your 72 hours of no touching is such a good idea, but it does make my clit twitch to think of it. In one way, yes, sounds very erotic, but by that time, I think i will seriously lose my mind! We'll see... but a diabolical suggestion. ARe you sure you are the sub in your relationship??? LOL! That was a very DOM suggestion!
Rapid, you might google the latin. I was just being a smart arse to the latin in dc's post. It was another part from the same Cicero stuff. I had to Google it too, don't worry. I liked the question. "If a pleasure is not hurting anyone, then what harm?" basically.
Time for bed. And yes, I am still a very needy girl, but I am feeling neglected after the weekend. Not much teasing here. None really on Saturday, and only a tiny bit today. :-( My frustration is frustrated. I am a bit narky as a result. I need to cajole b/f out of having an orgasm on a Friday in the future!!
Goodnight,
GND
Did you every consider going
I feel like it would be more horrible to suggest she go the final 72 hours with constant clitoral stimulation depending on your point of view, of course. ;)
-maymay
Day 38
I am wildly, desperately horny today. I have been on the edge of orgasm twice already. I was talking to a LURKER online this morning. He should post here. He is marvelously deviant and deliciously diabolical.
Anyway... this is the hardest day so far.
Joyce and maymay, both your suggestions are intensely.... intense! I don't know which would be worse either! I was in a fantasy of no-touching for a long time today. I did touch of course, but the fantasy had much exposure, no touching, for a LONG time. nearly drove myself mad.
Rapid.... wow. I truly feel for you. I hope you aren't going to injure yourself with your accepting of my suggestion to stick with your rules! And I sincerely hope that I will not be as long as late August before I am allowed to cum. B/f said last night he might never let me cum. He is enjoying this too much. Daily oral service is beginning to have an effect. He doesn't want to lose it!
Gotta run.
gnd
Decisions, decisions
I think you should have to wait until Rapid has his oppurtunity, and then you two have to decide which one gets to take it while the other must wait until the next oppurtunity. Of course, I love the two subs pitted against each other predicament thing though. I think I will be denied tonight, but I'm not certain. Gotta go, she's waiting.
Denial Idea from Cybersave
Cybersave, See my alternative. would care to join in the fun with at least me and maybe GND?
Day 39
(Technically it's day 40, because it's after midnight...)
Today was not as frantic as yesterday, but still boiling fiercely. Last night I edged myself with fingers, and an "insertable."
It is actually a phallic shaped deodorant "bottle." (I think it just has to be deliberately designed that way!) It is a very tight fit, and the great thing is that the phallic head of it is long and then the neck narrows enough so that it stays in by itself. It produces a very pleasurable amount of pressure inside.
It makes my clit protrude more, and so things accelerate quickly when I use it. Things accelerated very quickly, and very powerfully. I was moaning and aching on the edge. Very very hard to stop. I had a scare! I thought I had gone one stroke too far, but nothing really "happened." I was throbbing, but it didn't have that spilling over the edge feeling. I jumped up quickly, and that quelled it. I didn't try edging again, for fear that it would wash me over. I wasn't sure if it was a ruined orgasm or what Tobby called the "kisses" of the orgasm that was so close.
This morning I was desperate for sensation again, so I guess I didn't cum last night. I used the insertable again to take myself up again. I edged for about 20 minutes. It was delicious. I was very careful, because at this stage, I am on a hair trigger, I think. I didn't want to get caught by surprise like I did last night. That was too close.... soooooo close. I WANTED IT. I wanted it again this morning. The diabolical cycle is closing in on me. I need it so much, and the edging is making it worse and worse, but I need it more and more! It does seem to subside for a while after I do a good bit of edging, but then it rebounds with a vengeance.
I was fairly aroused when b/f arrived this evening. I needed him to give me some good attention, so I met him at the door... on my knees.
He enjoyed that very much and got very hard, very fast. He asked "where were you all my life?" Cute. He has been in fellatio heaven for the last few weeks, but today was an extra surprise.
He made me stop before he came.
Then he turned his attention to me. I had the insertable handy, and asked if we could use it. It was ok with him, and he found it very handy, and was using it to our mutual advantage. Easier for him, and wow, he made it good for me! He put pressure on it and it pushed into my cervix, so the pressure was on the sides and at the deepest point. It was great. I got very high, very fast, and he made it go close, and backed off, then close again, over and over. I was going insane.
My labia were held back and the top pulled up, so my clit was extremely exposed. It felt huge and hungry. I was very juicy and his fingers flew across my clit, over and over.
I was so close I was nearly screaming. I need the orgasm so bad. I need to feel it go over the edge and wallow in it, savour it, relish it, experience it. I lost it: I started begging. I know I can't cum yet, but... I really NEED TO. He said no. I thought I could talk him into it. No. I said are you serious? He said you are not going to cum. Then it got really close. I usually tell him I am very close, but I wasn't telling him. Hoping he'd go too far without the information, but I couldn't hide my body language or stifle the noises. He stopped.
I was lying on the sofa with my head starting to go off the edge. He straddled my face and shoved his cock into my mouth and pushed my legs apart and started on my clit again. God...
I was going mad on his cock and he was working magic on my clit. I started begging again, Please can I cum?! He just ignored me and kept rubbing my clit and fucking my face. I was devouring him. The intensity of the stimulation, the nearness of the orgasm, the feel of his cock in my mouth... I was just going insane. I was screaming and nearly crying. I need it so much. NEED it! I started begging again. He said NO.
I could feel his cock swelling, but it was pointing nearly straight down into my mouth. Not exactly great for being able to orgasm. Ha. But my neck was starting to hurt. I had to change position, so I came up a bit and his cock leveled off in the process.
He started orgasming in about two strokes. Coming and coming, for the longest time. Moaning and gushing into my throat, and still rubbing my clit! I was soo close, sooooooo close! But he did not let me cum.
I can't believe it. Now I am really worried. I thought I could talk him into it, but it is not clear now. Not at all!
I won't bring myself off. I promise. But god god god! This is REALLY difficult.
It's very late here. I need to go to bed.
Rapid and cybersave, I'm afraid that the time that I get to orgasm is determined by someone else, not me. So I don't have the option of setting a date or being in a contest of sorts. Sorry. Sexy idea though.
I am going to edge again tonight. I don't care how late it is. And I know it will only make it worse, but I have to do it. Have to.
No time to proof read. Sorry if there are stupid mistakes, typos, etc.
gnd