Does an Orgasmic Dream Provide a Woman Any Release?
It has been a difficult week filled with sexual frustration and unfulfilled desire, but also had times of electrifying teasing. However there was no orgasm and I am now in the 13th day of a new denial period. My lover has alluded to some innovative and sensuous liaisons in the weeks ahead.
My ex had always insisted my pubic hair be shaved completely bald. Anytime he was able to feel a trace of hair, he would personally shave me. I abhorred how it looked and felt humiliated and tawdry. Since we have been separated for several months, it has completely grown back. Early in the week while teasing me in the nude, my gf commented on my pubic hair. I had confided to her my extreme displeasure with my ex keeping it completely bald. She agreed it was very unappealing and said, She found a short tight bikini trim highly erotic and felt I would be quite comfortable with one. She carefully shaped my pubic hair into a tiny inverted triangle and then completely highlighted my outer labia lips, shaving a narrow border around them. I must admit it looks very sexy and I now feel very much relaxed in the nude. Lying nude with your legs spread wide and having an attractive woman delicately part and shave your labia lips, instantly ignites your passion to a level rarely attained. Normally I do not readily lubricate, even when adequately stimulated, but this highly erotic encounter had me as wet as I can ever recall.
I was cautioned that, if she every suspected me of having an orgasm without her
consent, my pubic area would be shaved bald and kept that way until she was certain I could be trusted to comply explicitly with her instructions.
Thursday of last week was an especially stressful day at work and further complicated by being in meetings most of the day and unable to touch myself for long periods. During one of the meetings, I was required to give a 20-minute presentation on a new product under development before a large group. Normally I am confident speaking to groups, although on Thursday I lost my train of thought several times. It was difficult to remain focused on my subject and I was continually distracted by the burning desire surging through my body. Our usual conference room was occupied and we were in a meeting room without a podium, requiring me to stand in the open at the front of the room. I had worn a conservative business suit, but with a rather short skirt with a side slit, causing my legs to be the focus of attention instead of my presentation. The lustful stares of the mostly male audience proved to be an additional distraction.
At the end of the day, my boss called me to his office and commented on the meetings. He complimented me on a thorough and informative presentation, but expressed disappointment in my incoherent delivery. He attributed it to the stress of my pending divorce and hoped my job efficiency would soon return to the level he had come to expect of me. He deferred ending the conversation and several times surreptitiously tried to steer the discussion to my personal life. I tactfully avoided revealing any pertinent details, but could not fail to notice how he thoroughly scrutinized my body during the lengthy conversation. He is considerable older than myself, untidy and often coarse. I have no interest in any sexual or even social relationship with him. He ended the discussion by expressing the hope I would confide in him, if I had any problems, and allowed his hand to furtively fondle my derriere as he walked me to his office door. Icily, but calmly, I informed him I would be able to find the door without his guidance.
Arriving home from work quite late, I quickly showered and slipped on jeans and a cotton top, not bothering to redo my makeup. Shortly afterwards my gf (dom) arrived for our daily session of teasing and was highly agitated at finding me dressed so casually and without makeup. She harshly reprimanded me and said, There would be no loving me up that evening and if I wanted sexual attention, I must look and act seductive. She left immediately saying, I was not to touch myself until the following evening when she would return around 8 P.M. Her final instruction was, that just before 8, I was to unlock the front door and be lying on my bed wearing only a short sexy negligee and my blindfold.
I almost made it through the night without touching my nipples or clitoris, but awoke about 4 A.M in the midst of an exciting dream. A handsome young summer intern from my office and I had been engaging in heavy petting and intense foreplay. Consenting to allow him to lay me he was just about to make penile penetration, when I suddenly awoke. If I had not awoken, I wonder whether I would have experienced an orgasm when penetration occurred in my dream. If I had continued the dream, would the orgasmic dream given me the same sexual release that I would have experienced from an actual orgasm? Has any woman had an orgasmic dream and what were your feelings upon awakening? I have never had one where I actually climaxed, but I suspect at best for us women, it would be similar to inadvertently reaching orgasm because you reached the edge and were too slow in stopping stimulation. I am aware young men, who have sex only infrequently, experience wet dreams and seem to enjoy the release they provide.
Upon awaking, I was perspiring heavily with my nipples erect and hard; my hand immediately moved to my throbbing clit. Several times, I pushed myself to the edge, but at least I did not succumb to the urge to masturbate myself to orgasm. Friday was a less stressful day at work, but sexual tension and anxiety were rampant. The ever-present hunger for complete sexual release was now accompanied by apprehension about what lied in store for me that evening when my front door would open.
Returning to my apartment immediately after work on Friday, I showered, fixed my hair and carefully applied fresh makeup. I selected an extremely sexy black baby doll negligee to wear. My bridesmaids had given it to me as a shower gift, calling it a SOS negligee (Short, Open, Sheer). Shortly before 8 P.M., I turned down the bed and fastened a very feminine white blindfold over my eyes. I adjusted my negligee to reveal just a glimpse of my pubic hair and spread my legs. For several minutes, I laid still listening intently for the sound of her heels on the hardwood floors. Suddenly I was startled and gasped as a hand gently touched my exposed pubic hair. I cried out my gfs name. There was no answer, except for two fingers gently grazing my lips. In a moment, the fingers softly stroked the recently shaved border encircling my labia, clearly assuring me it was she, but also conveying her desire for me to remain silent. As the evening progressed the teasing and denial was intense as always, but beyond that, I sensed a strong sexual lust and passion by my gf to have me as a lover. In the past, her gratification seemed to derive mainly from her ability to control my sexual fulfillment. After some time she left my bed for a few minutes, apparently to undress. Upon returning, she raised me to a sitting position and removed my negligee. Both now in the nude, we proceeded to pleasure each other; several times, she silently moved my hand to her breasts or crotch, encouraging me to reciprocate her ardent fondling of my body. Several times during the evening, I screamed for her to finish me. On each occasion, she just stroked my lips to silence me and paused to allow my arousal to subside.
After three hours of intimacy, she finally spoke; praising me for refraining from climaxing. She said, I must continue to resist the urge to have an orgasm, but could resume masturbating and pleasuring myself. She promised to lock the door on her way out and then I could remove my blindfold. Just before leaving, she enthusiastically complimented me on how erotic I looked with my short negligee revealing just a glimpse of pubic hair and what an alluring sight I was, helplessly lying in bed with my shapely legs opened so wide. One last time, I felt her lips again pressing against my pubic hair, softly caressing the folds of my labia. My body shuddered and I flexed my abdomen pressing it harder against her face, as I cried for her to take me. She seductively moved her tongue down the length of my slit and then rose from the bed. Frustratingly, there was no orgasm Friday night.
As the door snapped shut, I removed the blindfold and looked at the clock; it was 11:15 P.M. I had engaged in over 3 hours of passion and the aching in my body for satisfaction had only increased.
Joyce L.
Thanks to all for their kind words of welcome, interest and encouragement.
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Comments
Wow
Just wow.
Orgasms during sleep
Since you asked: no idea how common it is, but my partner has orgasms in her sleep several times each month, often connected with a sexy dream of some sort. They generally wake her up partway through; afterward she's usually very relaxed and afterglowy and, if I'm awake for it, likes to be held for a few minutes to enjoy it and fall gradually back to sleep.
She gets them more often when she's hornier; a couple of times in the week she ovulates is common, and relatively seldom towards the end of her cycle. If she gets significantly turned on without climaxing in the evening, there's a decent chance she'll come in her sleep early the next morning. Hence, prolonged teasing doesn't work on her -- she's got a built-in relief valve. Fortunately, individual sessions work just fine.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Don't let them interfere with your job, though -- a good time in bed isn't worth damaging your career. Perhaps you can prevail on your gf to ease off when you have job events upcoming that require extra concentration.
I second that
I second Mongojerry's "wow."
She is making you suffer deliciously! Your descriptions of what you are experiencing are great. I hope you will stay with us for encouragement and sharing. The sexual energy certainly does fuel the ability to write, doesn't it? We are the beneficiaries. Thanks, Joyce.
Your gf certainly does know how to deliver the tease.
To answer your question, I have had one orgasm in my sleep in my life that I know of, but I can't remember the details of it, or the conditions that led to it. I know of another woman to whom it happened, and I don't have details, except that she had been used to masturbating at will (frequently), and now with her dom, she is forbidden to have any orgasm that he does not permit. He has been gradually extending the time between her orgasms. She is wildly horny all the time, and she confessed to him that she had an orgasm in her sleep recently. She is also very very orgasmic.
I will echo what Mouse says: talk to your gf about the effect it is having on your work. But one catch is that you might be able to wrangle an orgasm when you just want one, instead of prior to an important work thing... Can't be having that!
Does she know that you have found this site and that you are posting here?
GND
Thanks for the Helpful Suggestions
Girl Next Door and Mongojerry,
I appreciate very much your counsel not to allow my job performance to deteriorate. I have spoken to my gf about my difficulties on the job last week and we are to have a forthright discussion of several issues regarding our relationship this weekend. I like the job, it has good benefits and it pays well, considering my modest experience. I value security and enjoy nice things, so it is clearly in my best interest to correct my downward slide. My gf's parents own a beautiful house at the shore and she has suggested we spend this coming weekend there; her parents will be attending the theatre visiting in New York. Hope she has some surprises for me, one of which will be a powerful orgasm.
Although we spend time together just about every day, my gf and I do not live together. However, I expect she will raise that subject this weekend. I am thrilled with our current arrangement and desperately want it to continue. While I find orgasm denial exhilarating, although extremely difficult to endure at times, I need to ascertain whether my feelings of affection for her are because she is so considerate and loving compared to my ex-husband or whether a woman can truly bring me more fulfillment, sexual satisfaction and joy than a man can. To do this, at some point, I need to have an intimate relationship with a loving man, who strives to satisfy me as well as himself; however, that is further down the road. Simply stated, at the moment, I guess my sexual orientation is bi-curious and I need to determine on which side of the street I want to walk. I do apologize for the rambling amateur psychology lesson.
GND, I have not told my gf of my postings on this site. One of my concerns is that I would not feel I could be as candid as I desire, if I knew she had access to my innermost thoughts. Another concern is that she might use this forum to exert control over me intellectually and emotionally. I am comfortable submitting to her sexually and find achieving an orgasm after a long forced abstinence, absolutely awesome. Even without an orgasm Friday night, with the blindfold and negligee, was an unbelievable experience. Just writing about it after the fact is a real turn-on. My other reservation is she will want to incorporate some of the harsher methods discussed in the forums into our relationship. I know I am plain vanilla (to borrow a phrase from another members post), but I adore the way she now controls me, but not humiliates me, and do not want it to change drastically, although she is subtly and gently eradicating some of my inhibitions. I know there are a number of partners who both post on this site and they are quite in accord. Perhaps, in time I will feel more comfortable with the suggestion.
Gnd, thanks also for relating your experience with orgasmic dreams and also your most gracious comments and encouragement. Happy to read about your hitting the jackpot the other day (or should I say your bf hit the G-spot) and that it was so rewarding. I am very very jealous though.
Joyce L.
responses
Hi Joyce,
I want to echo other people's welcome and say how much I am enjoying your posts. I also want to point out that while my husband definitely agreed with the point, it was GND and Mouse who mentioned job concerns, not Mongojerry. Gotta give credit where credit is due. I wish Mouse would post more--his comments are always on target but he seems to just read and poke his head out on computer issues and safety concerns, mostly.
I had an orgasmic dream just once, very recently. I was greatly astonished that it happened at all and even more astonished that it gave fulfillment. And it was completely mental--my hands were no where near that sensitive area. I actually woke up lying on my stomach. To my great delight, I was "punished" for it--our first "punishment" ever and an experience I would like to have again. Our D/s relationship is deepening and sending me into deep space.
My condolences and congratulations on your recent divorce--whichever is appropriate--probably a little of the first and a lot of the second. You seem to have a good read on yourself, though, so it might take some time, but I imagine that you will carve out a good place for yourself. In the meantime, hope you continue to have fun with the GF and that it continues as long as you want it to.
--t
sleep orgasms
I haven't heard so much of this phenomenon, but it sounds very cool for her, especially since she feels so good afterwards.
"Hence, prolonged teasing doesn't work on her -- she's got a built-in relief valve. Fortunately, individual sessions work just fine."
Do you ever tease her on purpose to try to bring on an orgasmic dream?
--t
Hypnosis
I've never put much stock in hypnosis but Belle's recent post on the subject was interesting--I looked around at the site she recommended and found there are titles there for "hypnosis tracks" designed to induce vivid sexy dreams, and others designed to block orgasm despite allowing and indeed increasing arousal. Now I have no reason to "believe" this works but it sure is interesting to consider--if they can work and one were to use those tracks in conjunction with each other. . .
The functioning problem
I do think it's an issue with the real life side of our favorite fantasy here at Tantalism--in fantasy, it's wonderful to think of the submissive who is brought to and kept in a state of utterly delirious arousal and desire, unable to think of or concentrate on anything but the aching dripping need, and indeed this is what I and most of us hunger for. It is precisely the state I want to keep t in and have had periods of remarkable success, particularly recently. I do find myself "checking in" from time to time, though--asking to try to "make sure" she is still able to tend to life's other demands--I guess I "worry" that our d/s sex games could cause some complications with the "other" demands of real life--work, kids, other family, daily chore type thinigies. I wonder if other Dom's/Domme's experience a similar concern--sort a concern for the welfare of the sub that surfaces once in a while to get reassurance and then goes back below ground allowing play to proceed and intensify--or if it's "just me."
I certainly wouldn't want the "worry" to become a "wet blanket," but I do think an occasional reality check is a necessary part of being a Dom. A sub will not always be able to warn us that things are getting a bit too much, and this is especially true at the moment when it is happening and the subspace thing is setting in--but we still have to make it our business to know. It's not always quite so simple as "If she's not safewording (or running screaming down the street) it must be ok." The responsibility for this stuff is partly the sub's, to be sure, but it is also ultimately, I think, the Dom's.
sort of
> Do you ever tease her on purpose to try to bring on an orgasmic dream?
Not in the way the folks here usually mean "tease," no. Although she likes her nocturnal orgasms, she much prefers being awake for them. Also, if I sleep through the whole thing, which is more likely than not, she doesn't get cuddled.
What I do do now and then, is to turn her on just a little bit right before bed, on occasions when we're too tired or busy to play. A few minutes of kissing and breast play before bed will increase the odds she'll come in her sleep, leaving her more relaxed and cheerful the next day. Plus, since sex tends to make her want more sex, it helps keep her in the mood for when we do have the time.
A ways back we experimented with attempts to turn her on during actual sleep, but it didn't work out too well -- her body doesn't seem to respond to it except as a physical discomfort. This is just a guess, but it might be the sort of thing that only works at particular points in someone's sleep cycle; she tends to have her sleep-orgasms in association with dreams, so maybe whichever brain state it is in which REM occurs is required. She tried it on me a few times too, and although it worked a little better, I woke up fairly quickly (and without realizing what was going on, somewhat to her discomfort).
Has anyone tried this with different results? I'm interested in the relationship of the un/subconscious to sexuality, and what differences there might be compared to their conscious responses, or how it might interact with dreams, if at all. I integrate my alarm clocks into my own dreams' plotlines all the time, so it doesn't seem too far a stretch. :)
Dreamline experimentation
I have been experimenting with dreams and vibrators. Using them before, during, and between sleep to find the effects. I'm finding that falling asleep with one on (very difficult) keeps the sexual dreams flowing and I awake with intense need. Nobody is currently home to stop me right now, so I don't know what would happen if I then went without. I haven't cum during sleep, but the need when suddenly awake by it is intense to the point I cannot fight it.
Holy hot fuck! You eventua
Holy hot fuck!
You eventually run up against the limits of fantasy and the limits of the possible. That having been said...
Whether an orgasmic dream gives any release or not, it may defy the will of the Dominant. The idea of being punished for an orgasmic dream that I can't control is hot. It's a progressive loss of control over my cunt - first to the Dominant, then to my own desires, and finally to the Dominant again as every thought, dream, and involuntary twitch and spasm is gradually brought under their control. No mercy, and no escape...
Erin
"Yearning hurts, and what release may come of it feels much like death." - Heraclitus
Punished for a dream
Erin--I think I posted a few weeks ago about t having some sort of orgasm in a dream--I had not considered the idea until it happened but as we thought about it we reached the same conclusion you do--and she was indeed punished for having an orgasm without permission. She will just have to learn that if an orgasm is approaching in a dream her body will need to prevent it--perhaps by waking up. Just because she's asleep doesen't mean she gets to cum any old time her body wants to and if she does (again), as you point out, she should be, and will be, punished (again).
I agree--the issue is control and ownership.
All hope abandon...
Mongojerry wrote:
"Erin--I think I posted a few weeks ago about t having some sort of orgasm in a dream--I had not considered the idea until it happened but as we thought about it we reached the same conclusion you do--and she was indeed punished for having an orgasm without permission."
I remember. For whatever reason, it didn't make as much of an impression on me then. But I've thought about it some more since then, and the idea has kind of grown on me. If you can't even escape control in your dreams, then your body is no longer yours, and there is truly no escape. It's denial as Hell. All hope abandon ye who enter here.
Erin
"Yearning hurts, and what release may come of it feels much like death." - Heraclitus
I'll second that: while falli
I'll second that: while falling asleep with vibrators buzzing inside of you is difficult, it's not that hard if you're already sleepy. I've been made to wear vibrators like that when falling asleep and I definately had a few intense sex dreams those nights. -maymay
Maymay, Cybersave: HOW do you...
How do you fall asleep with a vibrator buzzing or use it during sleep? OK, no prob understanding the distracting part. I mean... if used whilst falling asleep, do you just let the batteries die?
How do you use it WHILE sleeping?
Are you using a vib with an electric cord and set up with a timer??
The idea of both methods (falling asleep/while asleep) is very intriguing, but I'm curious as to the logistics.
Do I need to finally break down and get a Hitachi??? :-)
Please elucidate??
GND
P.S. I know I would not be allowed to experiment with this before the August bank holiday weekend.... don't worry... (I must not come. I will not come....)gnd
Sleeping Through a Buzz
In all honesty, I'm exhausted most of the time when I'm home because I sleep so little and work so much. I really should stop that for health reasons, but until I do it means that there are lots of opportunities to do naughty things to me while I'm in an extremely tired, that is, altered, state.
My girlfriend and I have done it a few times. She has several rather powerful bullet vibes with long cords for the remotes. It's those she uses in me. I'm bound with ropes or other restraints so that I can't move very freely, and then the vibes are inserted. They always turn me on and get me wiggling around, so it's not like I'm asleep when she's doing this. (Though she did wake me up with a strap-on fucking one time, which was über-hot.) But eventually, after playing for a while, she'll just leave them on low and leave me tied up.
Bondage of a certain kind does a funny thing to me. It relaxes me a LOT. That relaxation, coupled with being very tired to start with, and then just being left alone for a little while makes it pretty easy for me fall asleep. Then again, I'm one of those people who could sleep on a rock for a pillow, so go figure.
She's always come to bed or woken me up a little while later (I'm guessing on the average of half an hour to an hour later). I'm still pretty horny, and she doesn't always untie me (sometimes because I'm horny, sometimes because I'm comfy) but she does remove the vibes at that point.
-maymay
vibrating to sleep
How? I have to force myself to give in to the fact that the vibe isn't going to bring me over the edge. Then I fall asleep in subspace. I have only experimented alone in this, and therefore for safety always left myself enough room to manuever. I most of the time eventually wake with a powerful need to cum, and can't fight it off. I've never been able to wake and not get to cum. I also can sleep on anything or anywhere except now I can't sleep sitting. This is a recent development with a known cause. I haven't had to use anything plugged in, just batteries. No timers. However, I set the alarm for four hours (longest time it's safe to have an erection at full mast). It's never gone off, though. I wonder how she would feel about it? Never mind, I think she'd probably be too sadistic }:)
Vibrator while falling asleep
Thought I would add this to this thread also. As you know, when I am in a Denial Period I have a bullet type vibrator set on low speed, not enough to make me come, but enough to be constantly teased and stimulated. This is held on top of my penis by an elastic harness which also holds my penis in place under it and keeps pressure on penis to keep it pointed down and not allow full erection. Since this is on 24 hrs a day, I do go to sleep with it on. Usually results in quite a bit of squirming, trying to adjust position, sometimes not sure if trying to get away or get into it, the usual Denial Paradox. Eventually get to sleep, with the rechargeable batteries I use it is good for about five hours ( I usually change them at four)so it does quit. Either when it stops or I need a bathroom break I wake up, pee and change the batteries. As a result it is usually stopped for onlhy a very short time. Hopes this helps. A Highly Aroused Rapid