Experiment in Orgasm Control and Denial: Pre-Session

I started my first experiment in orgasm denial with a partner (Sir) three days ago and I've wanted to share some of my thoughts about the experience. Before this, the longest I'd been able to make it was three days on my own. At this point, I'm on my fourth full day of denial. I'd started some edging and denial a day before we decided to start playing. I'd considered giving myself an orgasm before our period of denial, but I wanted to hold off and start the denial already in need, so I held off. Before we had our first session over the webcam (one day post edging), Sir assigned me the task not to touch myself except over the fabric of my panties (and of course not to cum) I wrote him an email after sharing how the task had affected me. I've added the relevant excerpts from this email below (ie: where I talk about how the denial is affecting me).

5/11/2012

I expect I'll be asleep when you get this, but I wanted to let you know how your rule has affected me through this evening.

7:20pm: Before I turned on my computer and ended up chatting with you (and receiving my orders), I had rubbed a bit of ginger on my clit in anticipation of edging this evening. They sell it in tubes here for cooking which makes this very easy. At first, the ginger burns, then it makes the area extra sensitive. It was burning a bit while I was chatting with you, but after we finished, it began to tingle and soon my clit was throbbing. I rubbed at it through my panties, trying hard to get enough friction to properly bring myself close to orgasm, but the fabric just teased. Desperate for more satisfying friction, I flipped over and found myself rutting against my futon, my face buried in my pillow and whimpering with each thrust. I hardly ever make noise when masturbating except when I get really desperate. Which I am. My panties have a wet spot about the size of a US silver dollar and it's spreading. Even now as I type this, I can't help but squirm against my futon, rubbing my legs together as my panties get wetter and wetter. I have late night dinner plans, and I intend to leave my soaking, ginger scented panties on while I'm out as a reminder for myself of how desperately hot this is (and it just feels really dirty).

8:30pm: I'm heading out for dinner in about 5 minutes. My panties are wet and while I'd cooled down a bit over the past hour, as I prepare to leave, I can feel a fun tickly-tingly feeling in my chest and cheeks at the anticipation of going out again in a hot and wet mess. I put on my pants and then ended up rubbing at my crotch through them because I wanted to touch myself so badly. The corduroy against my palms in a way felt better than my panties. I had to make myself stop because the last thing I want is to leak through the fabric. It's all I can do to get myself under control to leave. I think the ginger was an incredibly bad (good?) idea.

11:20pm: I definitely cooled down over dinner, but now that I'm back at my apartment, I'm aware of my arousal again. I'm laying on my futon wearing nothing but my panties as I type this out. I'll probably watch some TV (on my computer) and play with myself some more before bed. It's so frustrating only being able to touch through the panties, which I like, but it's frustrating, LOL. My wet spot had mostly dried out after dinner, but then I spent some time rubbing at my slit through my panties and they are wet through again.

It's odd to be so sexuality obsessed. Every time I think I've cooled down a bit I end up thinking of the fact that I'm not allowed to have an orgasm or even touch my clit directly and I'm so turned on I can't stand it. I run my palm frantically over my slit, digging my panties in deeper to try and prolong the feeling while my other hand tightens over my nipple. Then I take my hand from my crotch, running fingertips over my thighs, up to my other breast and the back down, fingers tickling over my stomach to the line of my panties again. When I'm not in denial, I don't masturbate often, maybe once a week, but on the few occasions I've tried to delay my orgasm (the longest period being three days), I find myself wanting to touch constantly. I'm excited (and a bit nervous) about how our period of denial is going to go (especially since I'm starting it in such a state already), but I can't wait for the journey.

Thank you so much for taking control of my orgasm! This has been a fantasy of mine for a long time, and having the chance to share it with you has already been so exciting...I can't wait for more! I can only hope that my desire and desperation pleases you as much as it's pleasing me.

5/12/2012:

8:15am: Last night before bed I ended up reading some posts on one of the orgasm denial groups and using my vibrator through my panties to stimulate myself. Still didn't quite make it to the edge, largely because I was afraid that if I did, the vibrator (being more difficult to control than my fingers) would make it impossible for me to stop myself from coming. In a way, this was almost worse because I wanted to get closer but I wanted to maintain my denial more. Woke up hot and horny this morning, read your email and between that and the having to pee (that always makes me a bit hornier), I was a mess. Still am. I put on the purple panties before bed and they are quite wet now. Unlike the other pair, these are darker and the fabric absorbs the moisture rather than having it pool. These are also silkier, which makes them more pleasurable to touch and I feel my wetness more as it diffuses through the fabric. I'm so horny now I really want to use some ice to cool down the area, but it's Saturday so I've decided to ride the wave.

Shower time! It's going to be so difficult not touching myself I've been kind of putting it off.

9:00am:

Shower was intense. I didn't touch my pussy directly for the entirety of it, just letting the water go over me as I washed the rest of my body and wet my hair. When I was done, I was so turned on I had to sit on the floor of my shower with my legs spread until the draft from under the door cooled me off. Then I got out, patted myself down with the towel (not touching my pussy except to quickly soak up some of the moisture in the towel, very utilitarian...was very careful to not touch directly and not derive any pleasure from this) Then I put my panties back on and rubbed at myself through them for a bit. I can feel my arousal like a tickling ripple through my cunt, and it makes me unconsciously rub against any surface if I'm laying down. It's really overpowering and I like being overwhelmed by this animal desire and the discipline of holding back.

Looking forward to our session today!