Clamps, edging, fantasies and masturbation denial
My Owner and I are having one of our off again, on again, off again spats, so I sit here today a single lady, unowned, free, not dominated. Yet, I’ve never been as into the denial as I am right now.
One of the things I enjoy about being unowned is that I get to decide when to play, what kind of play, how much, and whether that includes edging or not. Naturally, it always does lol. So through my masochism, and the orgasm denial, I tend to work myself into a state of extreme arousal, where I become a complete pain slut, and nothing is too much to take.
I can’t get enough of the clamps at the moment. I want the pain, I want it to hurt so bad I cry and gasp. I love it when I’m lay there, on my back, moaning and rolling my head back in pain, yet legs up and apart, soaking through my knickers, wanting so badly to feel firm hands pushing my thighs apart, and a big cock using me.
I bought some new clamps – they’re magnetic ball clamps and the sensation is…. mmm, wonderful. I love the tight, focused pinch of them, biting into my nipples. They don’t pull, or drag or swing around, so I can move freely, lying on my back, stroking the clamped buds of my nipples, then rolling on my front, pressing the soreness against the bed, getting onto all fours, ass in the air, wanting so badly to be taken in the ass or cunt – hard, deep, impersonally, for someone else’s pleasure.
Although I am unowned and could choose to orgasm, I don’t; I feel I can’t. I promised myself I would never masturbate again. I don’t ever want to be the cause of my own orgasm, I don’t feel like I have the right to. I feel like I want to make that a gift, permanently, to whoever uses me, dominates me, owns me. I like that I am now helpless, trapped in the logic of my own decision making. I can’t make myself cum, I must wait till I am owned by someone. It could be years. I wonder if there is anyone who would like to own a permanent denial slave? To never see her orgasm, to never want to see her orgasm? It has been 7 weeks since I last orgasmed. If I met someone into permanent denial, I may never orgasm again. The thought only scares me as much as it arouses me.
My fantasies are running wild. I imagine I’m the slave in a poly house full of Doms, switches and submissives. Everyone gets to use me how they want, when they want. I never get to orgasm. Even the lowliest submissive can empty himself into me, or pull my head into his lap. I want to taste thick, hot spunk spurting down my throat, or running down the inside of my thigh, knowing I have given them a pleasure that I cannot experience.
I have to be so careful when edging; these clamps are so teasing, so deliciously painful, making me so aware of my aroused nipples; when I am teasing myself, all too often I feel how easy it would be to lose control, and give in to an orgasm. I won’t do it, I can’t do it. I have to stop, repeatedly. Every day I wake up, edge myself till I am tingling, and then slide the clamps onto my sore, swollen nipples, moaning in delight at the pinching, tugging sensation. Every part of me is aroused, every hole wants cock. I love orgasm denial.
chastity xxx
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Comments
Hot
Thanks for the very hot update. I love the commitment you have shown to your self denial. It must have been a milestone when you decided that you are truly something to be owned and dominated. How do you decided when someone has become your owner? Are you looking for a new owner, or do you expect to be back with your previous owner?
Thanks
I guess I'll see what happens with my ex Owner - I would like to get back with him, but you can't spend your life waiting for something if it's not going to happen.
As regards a new Owner, there's no rush. It would have to be the right person, at the right time in both of our lives. I doubt there are many people in the world who would want permanent orgasm denial anyway.
chastity xxx
Why do you think that?
I think it's probably true that not many people would want to be permanently denied their own orgasms, but permanently denying them to someone else is another matter; it takes nothing away from one's own pleasure and would be entertaining to watch.
Permanent Denial
"it takes nothing away from one's own pleasure"
Many men, including many dominant men, feel that it would take something away from their own pleasure, as they wouldn't have the power to make their submissive orgasm if they wished to, and they would miss being able to give forced orgasms. I regularly get emails from people who say that my kink is great, but what I really need is 50 forced orgasms with a hitachi magic wand, and wouldn't that be so much better than orgasm denial? Obviously, I disagree, but the feeling is very common.
chastity xxx
You can do it!
I'd probably want to keep a slave in permanent orgasm denial for a month before agreeing to take her on for the rest of her life. It certainly brings on an erection as a fantasy, but I've discovered from experience that fantasy and reality don't always match.
But it's got to be someone's real and perfect fantasy - think how many women on this site have recounted their boyfriends/husbands getting into it once properly introduced.
I don't know you personally, chastity, but the thought of you not being able to find a master strikes me as silly. The fear of not being able to find a master who fits your kink strikes me as equally silly. Shouldn't there be a lot of guys out there for whom you are the perfect, impossible wet dream? I think I'd want to keep a whole harem of you if I could afford it (that way you could torture each other whenever I was busy), and I can't possibly be the only guy like me in existence.
If your dream is to be a sex slave -
Post it to Collarme.
Post it to Fetlife.
Heck, post it to OKCupid.
Hold out for a master that can give you what you want. Don't sell yourself cheaply.
And don't give up on that dream, because there's some guy out there who'll lose his dream, if you give up on yours.
(Not much into Internet relationships, I'm afraid, but I'm currently in the market for a larger house with a spare bedroom or two. If there are any readers on this site who consider sex slavery an impossible dream, I wonder if they'd want to try it for a month? I'm somewhat of a busy person in real life, as well as being polyamorous with other relationships I'm maintaining; but I have friends both male and female who you could be forced to service, if boredom were ever a threat. People should try to achieve their dreams.)
Ok. Make that it takes
Ok. Make that it takes nothing away from MY pleasure. Although the fact that denial is what you want could take a little of the joy off the top.
Lol
Well I wouldn't be advertising for a permanent orgasm denial dom if I DIDN'T enjoy it!
I always wonder about Dominants who enjoy inflicting things their submissives don't enjoy - is there a particular kind of submissive who gets off on having the opposite done of what they'd prefer?
chastity xxx
Well. . .
There is the inescapable paradox there and yes, I think more than a few do feel at least a twinge of "submitting" to stuff I want anyway isn't submitting. So yes, the sub who does not like anal might indeed get off on her Dom taking her in the ass quite in spite of her not enjoying it. But then of course the paradox kicks in and a purist on the matter just can't win. :)
Good Points
I tend to think of them as 'Agreeable Doms' and 'Contrary Doms'. I don't mean any insult by those names at all, I'm not suggesting any way is better than any other, just that I've noticed a difference. Agreeable Doms still like to inflict pain, but they like their submissive to like it too - they're looking for 'agreement'. One of the things I love about submitting is how malleable I become, I can actually change my likes and dislikes, and learn to like what they like - this is ideal for an 'agreeable' Dom because as soon as I like what they like, they're happy.
Contrary Doms enjoy having the power to know what their submissive likes, and then do the opposite, or at least change it so it's not quite what the sub likes. The problem for me is that, if I learn to like what they like, it takes the shine off it for them, they'd rather I wasn't rolling round in ecstacy, I guess they don't want to think of themselves as a service top, or that they're pleasing me? Either way, it just leads to a merry go round where they're trying to stay one step ahead of what I like, and I'm constantly trying to keep up with what they like in order to 'please' them. I just wondered if there were submissives who could truly enjoy receiving something they don't like, without falling into liking it from their enjoyment of doing it! And part of me suspects, I have to be honest, that there are a number of submissives who love something, but claim not to because it makes them hot (I still do this to a certain degree) and it makes me wonder if it's more of that set up?
chastity xxx
Usually it's a matter of
Usually it's a matter of knowing what somone likes or dislikes and when, then varying things so that she never knows what to expect. Things get more complicated where what is desired is the same 24/7.
Really not contrary. Sub
Really not contrary. Sub agrees to suffer for dom, dom ensures that suffering is maximized.
suffering
Oh I still suffer with orgasm denial, it's just that I enjoy that suffering, and seek it out - being the masochist that I am. Is suffering that they enjoy still satisfying to you, or more suffering that they don't enjoy?
My use of the term contrary is because if the slave doesn't like being caned, they will be caned, but if they like being caned, they won't be caned! It seems to be the opposite of whatever they enjoy.
chastity xxx
Contrary/agreeable
I understand what this distinction is getting at. Being caned is painful no matter what, but if you enjoy the pain, are you "suffering"? If what you want more than anything is for your Dom to cane you, wouldn't you suffer more if they refused to do it? And as chastity points out, if what you want more than anything is to serve your Dom, then it might prove difficult to find any command that wouldn't get you off no matter how much you hated it, because service is the essential thing. It starts to make your head spin thinking about it. :)
Being the meanyhead that I
Being the meanyhead that I am, it's either subjecting someone to something I know she hates or to something she likes but in a way that she will hate. I want her satisfaction to come after, in the knowledge that she endured something for me.
re:
I agree with Chastity.. whats the point of submitting to something if you dont enjoy it on some level??