Permanent Orgasm Denial

chastity's picture

Pretty crazy idea I know, but has anyone tried it?

The more I do long term denial, the more I think about being permanently denied, it just seems like the hottest thought in the world to me. If I ask myself, can I live with this feeling forever? The answer is yes. Everytime Sir suggests increasing the present period of denial, I like it - I want him to increase it. We're now talking about doing 9 months instead of 6, and I'm totally up for it.

If I google permanent orgasm denial, all that comes up are FemDom and male chastity forums, so I thought the best place to ask might be in here.

So, has anyone done it, or tried to do it? (i.e. for a few years or more). Any thoughts or ideas? (i.e. roughly how insane I must be to even consider it?) Any tips or suggestions? Does anyone think it's doable? Even better, does anyone think it would be fun? (perhaps I just have a different idea of fun than everyone else lol.)

Anything you can tell me would be appreciated. I've been thinking about this more and more often and I guess I just want to get some info on anyone who might have been at this point before me, or anyone who has tried, or considered it before. Even comments from anyone who thinks it's a really bad idea for whatever reason, all input is helpful really.

Many thanks,

chastity xxx

Heard of it, here and there

I see it now and then on various chastity-related blogs. You're not alone in having the fantasy -- Tom Allen's written several times, for instance, on how the idea turns he and his partner on even though they don't practice it in reality. There are a number of femdom/malesub couples out there playing a "permanent" game. The old TPE-hosted cb-list mailing list had a posting from a sub who had just passed the 10-year mark without erection or orgasm, I recall. One woman who was herself denied for relatively short stints was reuinted with a femsub friend who, simply because of the dynamic of a new relationship, had gone from short-term to middle-term to unplanned-term to deliberately-never-come-again, and had been in that last phase for a year and a half (seemingly happily, much to her own surprise).

A few former contributors here (e.g. Susan and her then-partner Andrea) did some ~1year denial periods, though I don't think permanence was the focus. They were blogging on their own for a while, but the public portion of that seems to have devolved mostly into racism, right-wing politics and mostly non-kink topics. There've been some fun pieces of erotica posted here on the subject, especially concerning f/f couples.

This may be a more popular fantasy for F/m pairs than ?/f ones, but there aren't as many femsub-couples blogging about T&D/chastity, either (at least not where that's the focus of their kink), so it's hard to say for sure. And besides that there's the whole Internet Credibility Gap thing to allow for.

As for whether it's a good idea -- well, for most people probably not, but everyone's different. If your communication with your partner is strong and the two of you have compatible goals, then "indefinite" might be a better goal than "permanent," at least while you explore longer periods to see what works for both of you (and if if it does keep working for you, there's no reason you can't keep drawing it out, you just need to ensure that doing so is the right thing for both of you).


chastity's picture

Thanks for your reply

I think the idea of referring to it as 'indefinite' rather than permanent is a really great idea, that solves so many dilemmas in a single stroke. We are really already doing indefinite, I just didn't think of it that way. It will also help change my mindset realising that indefinite has started already. After all, denial is not a date in the future, it is how you deal with it one day at a time, and it will be great to focus on that instead of that feeling of waiting, which is what I think I'm trying to get away from.

Really great to hear of other femsubs who have done 1+ year periods. I have heard of F/ms doing very long periods of denial, but I don't know how much to compare to male submissives just because the physical aspects are so different. i.e. chastity cages, prostate milking, etc. It's definitely less common with M/f couples.

Your post was really great, and gave me much food for thought, thank you so much :-)

chastity xxx

Hi Chastity, you wrote "After

Hi Chastity,

you wrote "After all, denial is not a date in the future, it is how you deal with it one day at a time, and it will be great to focus on that instead of that feeling of waiting, which is what I think I'm trying to get away from."

As soon as I read this, I understood a lot more about what you want. I can see how waiting would not feel as submissive as accepting. Hope the indefinite denial goes well for the indefinite future!


chastity's picture

Indefinite Thanks!

Ha ha ha! Thank you for that. I'm glad I explained it in a way that the meaning came alive for you. Ultimately, if I'm just gritting my teeth and hanging on for that elusive future date, then there's no point me doing it at all, I'd just be wishing my life away. I did use to do that, desperately so, and then I noticed that, after the date had arrived and I'd had my magnificent orgasms, that I'd miss the denial. So there must be something about this, day to day, which I enjoy. I think it's just about learning to see it. It's like when I first started doing BDSM and, as much as I *loved* all the twisted things I was getting up to, I just couldn't admit that I actively wanted them. I much preferred acting the helpless, suffering little subbie, who had all these cruel things inflicted on her. And I think, with denial, that I still want to act out the 'poor poor me' role, but in fact I totally, definitely, 100% choose this. Even right now, after nearly 2 months of not coming, I choose it. And if I choose it, I must like it, right?

I don't know if my denial will be indefinite, in fact I strongly suspect it won't, at least not now. But yes - I want to find that acceptance, I want to accept this as my day to day life. I know I like denial, need it. I want to get lost in the sheer, inescapable joy of it. Knowing it's going to end stops me doing that, I feel, it's always so temporary. Which is why I want to feel, to know, that there's no going back now... :-D

chastity xxx

a propos of nothing,

what is your day job?


chastity's picture

Nothing interesting

I supervise a store / customer service team :-)

chastity xxx

chastity's picture

Ignore this

I posted a comment on the wrong frickin thread lol.

the idiot xxx

Permanent orgasm denial


Your relating to indefinite rather than permanent denial I believe is wise as indefinite can be a very long time. What I have not seen so far is how your dom teases you. Are you kept slightly aroused or are you continually kept on the edge? If you were my sub I would keep you close to the edge from when you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night. Do you believe you could stay at this level of arousal for an indefinite period of time.

Since you have a job, I would still keep you aroused at work by having you wear a clear plastic chasity cup. It would cover your cunt and clit, and I would keep you aroused with off site electronic stimulation. The cup has holes in the bottom so you can pee, and since your are working I would keep you off the edge but close.

What are your thoughts regarding being kept continously at this level of arousal? Do you believe you could go months in this state?


chastity's picture

Not my cup of tea

No, we don't do continuous arousal. The point is for me to become accustomed to being denied, not fighting against it. For this reason we don't participate in unnecessary stimulation of Sir's pussy. I also do not think chastity devices are hygienic. Who wants to smell like stale pee?!

I believe the simple fact of ongoing denial keeps a slave in a good level of continuous arousal, since she can never achieve release. Teasing would be putting the attention back onto the slave and her sexual desires, rather than on the Owner's sexuality, which is where it should be, in our opinion :-)

chastity xxx

nequam's picture

You are definitely not alone

You are definitely not alone in your desire. For me, i very much want permanent, not indefinite. Indefinite leaves the possibility of having an orgasm some day and i don't want that. i want all doubt, all hope of ever having one again removed. Ideally, it would happen from yesterday, but Master is going to take me through this slowly. At present it is denial for a long time, as far as i know right now, for months. my hope is he will give me a trial period to see how i cope, then will make it permanent.

i cannot tell you where this comes from, why it's so arousing to think of or why it feels so right to be permanently denied orgasm, it just does.

This turned me on so much, I

This turned me on so much, I wish I could help you be permanently denied, I need to find someone like you!

your view

I was surprised when I read " Teasing would be putting the attention back onto the slave and her sexual desires, rather than on the Owner's sexuality, which is where it should be, in our opinion :-) "
I agree fully with your statement. I believe it would be both cruel and counter productive to cause a belted woman to deal with additional arousal while providing pleasure for her owner. Thank you for your view.


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