Hi, I'm Kathryn, and I'm creating this blog entry to be sort of an introduction/profile.
I'm 41 years old and used to be very much into denial and teasing, especially in as relates to sub/Dom relationships. I got away from it though, when some things happened in my life, and I wasn't able to really pay attention to my sexual side.
Soon after things calmed down a bit, I just started having sex all the time, not worrying about sub/Dom or controlling my orgasms or serving my male partner, as is really my nature to do.
Then I stopped having sex completely, even with myself. I burned out a bit and am not really sure why, but just completely avoided that part of life and rarely even got aroused. I certainly never teased myself or looked for any stimulation.
Now these last few months, out of nowhere, my libido has caught up with me. I almost feel like I did when I was out just having sex wherever I could find it and masturbating and cumming all I wanted to.
I really don't want to go down that path again, though. I didn't feel like it was the real me - I need control. I need to be controlled. I want to serve, and I want some control over my sexuality - before it takes over my life again.
The thing that's different this time is that I cum so much easier than I used to. I don't even have to touch myself sometimes. I just read some entries here or watch a video (thank you, Constantly Craving) and squeeze my legs together a little an I cum just like that.
I think I'm hitting my middle age sexual peak that I've heard about, which is why the increased libido. And I think I've been "out of control" for so long that I cum "just like that."
I obviously need some discipline and control and to concentrate on controlling this part of my life.