Is it fair for the sub who wishes to be kept in denial to be made to cum more often than in his/her pre-explained fantasies?
Yes, the master/mistress has complete control of their slaves orgasms, like it or not.
39% (11 votes)
This is a consensual play, if the subs have agreed on orgasm control they should accept the consequences.
11% (3 votes)
A good slave should not ask for anything. Master/Mistress already knows and decides accordingly.
4% (1 vote)
It costs more to a Dom to make the sub come when the Dom does not want to than not make the sub come if the Dom wants to.
0% (0 votes)
Maybe they're just not suited sexually for each other.
0% (0 votes)
The eagerness to serve while on denial is something a good Dom should explore while also fulfilling their sub's dreams.
7% (2 votes)
If they Love each other they should mold their desires towards a same goal.
4% (1 vote)
If they are going to stay together both should learn from each other and work a bit toward fulfillment.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should teach that sub to be careful on what he/she wishes for and make him/her forget what orgasm means.
4% (1 vote)
The Dom should offer a choice to the sub, "either play by my rules, or I'll play alone, or even..."
4% (1 vote)
The "sub" is not a true sub if he/she wants to make the "Dom" do something he/she does not want to.
0% (0 votes)
The sub is selfish for wanting to take away this pleasure from the Dom.
4% (1 vote)
The Dom is selfish for TAKING away this kind of pleasure from the sub.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom is supposed to be selfish but no need to be so much, on this particular subject so important to the sub.
0% (0 votes)
The sub should be punished for even thinking about this by being made to cum even more often.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should learn to play in an equilibrium between pleasure gained and given, punishment/pain given, and risk of loosing.
4% (1 vote)
If the Dom bends on a request, he/she could bend on others, denying themselves a pure dominating position.
0% (0 votes)
If the sub makes the Dom bend, the sub will never feel totally helpless being purely dominated.
0% (0 votes)
The sub should learn to play in an equilibrium between pleasure gained and given, punishment/pain gained, and risk of loosing.
0% (0 votes)
The sub should calmly discuss the question asking (again or more) to be denied more often.
0% (0 votes)
The Sub should boldly ask to be denied orgasm.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should ask the sub to stop requesting such a thing.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should ask the sub to continue requesting such a thing although always denying the request.
0% (0 votes)
The sub should accept what the Dom has to offer and that's it!
0% (0 votes)
The sub should learn to accept and enjoy what the Dom has to offer.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should sacrifice a bit and deny the sub orgasm.
7% (2 votes)
It is a big sacrifice to the Dom to not do something he/she likes to, but the Dom should deny the sub's orgasm on request.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should learn to Accept the sub for what he/she is and deny him/her accordingly.
0% (0 votes)
The Dom should learn to Enjoy the sub for what he/she is and deny him/her accordingly.
4% (1 vote)
This is more a debate thing than a poll, but polls tend to appear separately and take might take more attention.
11% (3 votes)
Total votes: 28
Comments
Control
I know the Dom/sub is not real, but the Dom should have complete control. That is why if I ever sub, I will be a complete sub, no game.
nocum
sub or slave?
sub or slave?
I agree
So many of the options focus the duty of the sub, and take it for granted that the Dom will be deciding how often the sub comes, but what about the duty of the Dom? Being a good sub does not mean forfeiting all rights and boundaries. If a Dom ignores his promise to deny his sub, what's to stop him from ignoring her safe word, or putting her in a dangerous position?
It's interesting that this poll includes,"This is a consensual play, if the subs have agreed on orgasm control they should accept the consequences," but not the opposite. Consent is a two-way street. This is consensual play, and if the Doms have agreed to deny the subs, then they should accept the consequences. A good Dom is a trustworthy Dom; a trustworthy Dom never breaks a promise.
Re: angeline526
Good point on the extended viewpoint of including safeword ignoring, or the other dangers you mentioned. The poll's original viewpoint concentrated on a "minor" thing, like orgasm control, assuming both partners have agreed on what they like, and the Dom KNOWS that the sub likes to be kept in denial but still, for own pleasure, does not do that. The options: "The Dom should learn to Accept the sub for what he/she is and deny him/her accordingly.", or "The Dom should learn to Enjoy the sub for what he/she is and deny him/her accordingly." do focus on what you are saying, while the consensus part is on the eyes of the Dom is covered by the title. So "The sub should calmly discuss the question asking (again or more) to be denied more often." or "The Sub should boldly ask to be denied orgasm.", + all the variations of accepting the control.
I like the fact that there was a vote pro to the risk of loosing to the Dom.
Re: virtualban
Right, and if I were going to vote, I would probably vote for the option you mentioned...but the wording of that option still doesn't sit right with me. The Dom "learning to accept the sub" feels to me like the sub is being branded a bad sub for wanting his/her limits respected. That option says the sub is flawed but should be accepted, without acknowledging that the Dom's need to do something a sub explicitly does not want is a flaw in itself. I dunno, it just bugs me, especially since there is a strongly worded option about this being consensual play therefore the sub should accept the Dom's limits but no strongly worded option about how consensual play means the Dom should accept the sub's limits, too. You can't just walk all over your sub. (Unless she asks you to. ;))
Frankly, if I were in a situation where we had explicitly discussed our fantasies, and then my Dom/me went ahead and did something that was the exact opposite of what I said I wanted, I would get up and walk the hell out of there. I would not feel safe at all. So the fact that so many of these options are weighted so strongly in the other direction...it just makes me uncomfortable.
I made this poll in order to
I made this poll in order to get a few ideas on how things do look from the other side, the other point of view, the Dom point of view :)
I'm going to be in the minority here
"The Dom should learn to play in an equilibrium between pleasure gained and given, punishment/pain given, and risk of loosing."
But I believe that the Dom needs to learn how to control the sub, for both the sub's and the Dom's pleasure. I think to be a true Dom, it's not about taking what you want, it's about knowing how to control your sub to give him/her the best experience that they can't give themselves. It's an agreement at the beginning.
On that note, I'm oddly surprised to find such a large number of votes in favor of the sub changing, and so few urging the Dom to be a better Dom. That's actually what made me want to post.
Sorry I've been away for so long. I'm not ignoring ANY of you, I just have no time until next month.
non T&D homepage: http://www.wompadan.com