male denial, solo male

Well I made the most of yesterday's draw and had two more orgasms. As usual, the second one was much more intense and pleasurable, but otherwise not all that noteworthy. I tried something new (and kinda oddball) for the third one though.

I took an empty toilet paper tube, threaded a latex glove through it (to soften the hard cardboard edges, and to make lubing it easier), rubber-banded it down, lubed the life out of it, and used it as a ghetto pocket-pussy.

It was an interesting sensation, very different from my usual technique. Pumping it in and out felt good, and was reasonably stimulating, though not enough to get me to the edge on its own. Twisting the tube produced a less intense, but very nice sensation. In the end, I used my fingers to masturbate myself until I was good and hard, then used the tube to get myself off. I was originally going to just edge with it, but I was really wanting to cum, and wanted to feel what this new toy would feel like, so I went ahead and pushed myself over the edge.

So I drew a Heart today!

For those that aren't familiar with the rules, a heart means I get a chance at an orgasm. The way it works is, the number on the card is the number of edges I have to do, and then I draw another card. If that card is another heart, I'm out of luck, and I don't get to cum, unless it's a face card in which case I at least get a ruined orgasm. If it's a non-heart, I get to cum!

The card was an eight of hearts to be specific, which means I have to edge 8 times before I learn the outcum.

I started out with an edge as soon as I drew. As I've been doing lately, I drew it out for a little while. I like to hover on that edge just before the orgasm starts, and I've gotten rather good at it. I decided not to flirt with disaster this time, and didn't go any further than that. I also managed to sneak another quick one in just before work.

I had another accident.

I was edging, bringing myself to the absolute brink of disaster, and dancing on that edge, daring myself to fall over. I thought I had a good handle on just how far I could go without tipping over. And actually, I did. What I didn't count on was, when I went to pull my hand away at the absolute last split-second before going over... I accidentally touched myself.

I accidentally touched myself.

I wasn't trying to push myself too far. I was trying to stop just in time. But I completely inadvertently touched myself when I didn't mean to. One errant finger made the slightest touch on a sensitive spot, and sent me flying. Pow! Ruined orgasm.

Well, I ended up giving myself 4... FOUR!... ruined orgasms last night. Each time teasing myself just to the edge, riding it until I couldn't stand it anymore, then sending myself over the edge. Each one gave a sense of "Damn, I needed that! I needed so much more, but damn I needed that!"

It was just barely enough to keep me sated for most of today. Today's card was a two of clubs. Just two 10-minute tease sessions, and no edging! Fortunately I wasn't very horny much of the day, plus it was a work day, which got 8 hours out of the way. But the horniness returned suddenly, probably aided by looking at orientbeach.com, and their real pictures of real people on real nude beaches, and that second session got used in short order. I had to keep slowing down to keep from reaching the edge! That was frustrating, and already I'm dying for my next chance to edge.

I got to have another ruined orgasm tonight, this time completely legally.

I had 9 edges to do, then another card draw to determine if I get to cum or not. This was very frustrating. I insisted on riding each one of course. I've found this little groove to settle into just on the edge of orgasm, where if I rub at just the right speed, I can keep myself there for a while. Of course, I pushed myself a little further, putting myself right at the edge, then letting myself down again. That part is so frustrating... I want to cum so bad at that point, and it's so hard letting myself down again.

So I had one ruined orgasm and two full ones last night. I was good and cummed out, virtually no arousal at all. I'm starting to wish I hadn't done that. I miss the constant arousal and the great edges. It'll take a few days for that to build back up again.

So today I've got to do 6 edges and 6 non-edge tease sessions. After that I get all the teasing and edging I want for the day, short or orgasm. Doable, but would have been a lot more fun if I had saved myself up from last night. Note to self: Don't cum the night before starting a game!

I did manage to get two good edges in this morning. It was somewhat of a chore at first, getting myself aroused enough to get to the edge. Some good porn helped there. (Sidebar: Facial pics are wonderful. And I mean, the non-degrading, non-submissive, lovingly administered kind where the girl absolutely loves it. Yes, there really is such a thing!)

Well, I was trying to ride the razor's edge again. Bringing myself just to the
brink of orgasm and staying there. I was so close that I had to slow down until
I reached the point where a single touch would have set me off. Of course, I
gave myself that single touch. But no more than that! The result, of course,
was a ruined orgasm. Not unpleasant at all, actually (though some people find
it so), but no orgasmic pleasure. It was a much needed relief, though, after a
full week of edging! I actually felt a mild glow and a nice calmness, which
helped me to sleep for a little while.

It's short-lived though, and I can feel the horniness coming back already!

Well I was all hot and bothered all day at work thinking of my idea to start taking votes on my orgasm, especially after checking the site during lunch on my phone (piece of crap browser, but it can just barely render the tracker) and finding that I already had two responses. Thinking of just how I want to set it up. Thinking of how I could be driven wild with horniness and need yet still get denied by a vote and have to wait another week... Needless to say I was good and ready for some edging when I got home!

After the success of last night, I tried seeing just how far I could go without having an orgasm, even a ruined one. Trying to see if I could get just barely far enough that I spurt some cum without an actual orgasm like I did last night. I tried getting just to the point where I feel the first inkling of orgasmic pleasure, but before the point of no return where I'll surely have an orgasm, even if it's a ruined one.

Wow, it's been two days since I posted a blog entry! I think that's a personal record. (I sound like I'm comparing orgasm denial records ^_^)

Well, I'm on free orgasms until Monday. But I decided that I wasn't desperate enough to cum. So I didn't! I'm on Day 6 now, and am just beginning to feel that heightened sense of arousal that comes from days of denial.

I wasn't able to edge at all yesterday. For some reason, I just couldn't get close enough, no matter how hard I tried. I suspect the meds again, so today I only took half a dose of the Paxil. Thankfully my sexual response is starting to return to normal, so I'll try the half-dosage for a while and see if it manages my anxiety well enough.

Slight format change. Instead of the blow-by-blow, I'm just gonna write the daily highlights. Easier to write, and spares us all from such boring entries as "5pm. Edged again." Also attempting to give each diary entry a meaningful title.

Well yesterday I was stuck with no-edge teasing for the second day in a row, and damn it was frustrating. I was so desperate for more. I didn't even want an orgasm at that point, I just wanted to edge!!

But the fates smiled on me today, and I got an allotment of 8 edges today! It's a workday so I won't have a whole lot of time to do all eight, so I'll probably work in a bunch serially tonight.