Kris Westergaard's blog

I'm taking a new med and for some days now I've not been all that interested in sex. Well, my brain is always interested in sex. Sometimes my body doesn't cooperate. I've managed to get pretty wet this evening, though. My GF has been working her way through our toy repertoire. When I came out of the bathroom this morning she handed me a tease ball. "Put this on." We were staying home today, watching sports, so I shrugged, put it on, wore it for about an hour or so - getting mildly aroused but nothing spectacular.

A while later she stopped me in the hallway. "Give it here." I fished it out, a little embarrassed, and handed it to her. She gave me a small 4" battery vibe; "Put that in." That wasn't as easy to wear and still move around the house doing laundry and so on, but I did it. After a while she stopped me again, took the vibrator back and put some nipple clamps on me under my t-shirt, cupping each breast and sucking my nipples to a point before she slid them in place. I wore those for maybe a half-hour, which was about all I could stand; she took them off, licked and sucked my nipples again and gave me a small bullet vibe to put next to my clit.

I thought I was doing pretty well, but somehow in the last week or so my weight crept up over _00 pounds. We're not using the T&D diet rules anymore but there are still limits. I can't come until I'm back down under _00. It's only a couple of pounds (she said ruefully) - Of course my GF is giving me holy hell. Last night we pulled four cards that led to a pretty much unrelenting two hours of moaning and writhing. No point in begging but I did some of that too. ;)

Today I've been wearing the small bullet vibe with the battery pack in my pocket. I had a meeting for this group I volunteer with and she had me wear the bullet vibe TO THE MEETING. Bad enough to have to wear this thing to the movie theater, but out in public with a bunch of well dressed society matrons? Ye gods...luckily I got to keep it on the lowest setting and it was inside, not snuggled against my clit. There were a couple of ceiling fans going so probably nobody could hear the thing but I was still positive they were all smirking to themselves and wondering what I'd done this time. If nothing else the meeting was a LOT more interesting than usual.

I pulled a second card to go with yesterday's king and it was an ace. Oh thank God. That meant I could at least expect an almost-gasm tonight, at the end of all this teasing. My GF gave me some instructions before she left for work and said she'd call me with the rest. First thing, I was to go once through each of the seven settings on the multi-function vibrator, one minute per. After yesterday's marathon session I thought this would be easy, but I started to get close very fast. I had to roll over on my back, spread my legs and relax as much as possible to get through the seven minutes. I could have stopped the vibrator, waited a while and then tried again, but I didn't want to be quite as desperate as I was yesterday.

Yesterday I said I needed to come more than I ever had in my life. My GF told me I was wrong. "You just want to come. You don't need to come. You'll need to come later." She was right. The level of desperation was about to ratchet up another notch.

Per instructions I was taking out the seven-function vibrator once an hour and running through the seven cycles, one minute each, with a one-minute rest between cycles. Well, the truth is, I was resting for more than a minute, more like three or four minutes. I was spending most of the last two or three minutes chewing on my lip and forcing my hips to relax and doing everything possible not to come. If I turned the vibrator off at any point to avoid coming then the whole cycle didn't count and I had to start over and I wanted to avoid that at any costs. I'd already lost one cycle to a phone call.

Last night I got a king from the deck o'cards. We always respect the king. The king is kind of the ultimate tease, a four-part exercise that encompasses all of our favorite techniques and usually takes us a few days to do. I take a second card when I get a king, and the second card has a number that my GF uses to create whatever's going to happen next. Well, my second card was also a king. What are the odds? (one in 54, yeah, I know.)

My GF looked at the cards and said, "Hm. I'm going to have to think about that for a while." Since the numerical value of a king is 13, she decided to start by vibing me for thirteen minutes, on high. She let me keep my panties on. Of course I wasn't allowed to come. I couldn't see the clock, either and there was no way to know how much time had gone by. Only a few minutes in I was getting close. My GF got an ice cube and told me she'd cool me down with ice if I had to beg her to stop, after which she'd start again for the whole thirteen minutes. No short cuts.

I pulled a king in the card game yesterday. A king is kind of the ultimate tease, the one card you don't want to pull or, if you do get it, you hope and pray that the queen is right behind. There are four different teases that go into a king, and each time a king comes up it seems more intense and horrible than the last. There's thirteen minutes on a given vibe cycle (King = 13), thirteen edges, thirteen trips through the seven Pulsatron cycles and an unknown amount of time with my clit being ignored while she vibes my vagina and other places of interest.

The first thing that happens when a king turns up is that I have to run through the full seven cycles of the Pulsatron vibrator. 13 times. The amount of time for each setting is determined by the next card. I pulled a 9, which meant ninety seconds on each setting; slow, medium, fast, ramp up and stop, ramp up and down, pulse and double pulse. Obviously I'm not allowed to come while this is going on. I've never been forced over the edge but she tells me (when I'm whimpering and fighting to hold back) that she'll crank it up to the highest setting and leave it there for a while while I struggle and beg. I do get a ninety second rest at the end of the seven cycles and my GF will double it if I ask her to. If, however, I ask her to shut it off before the end of the seven cycles, she starts over from zero again. It's terribly cruel and unusual. I only got through five of the thirteen times before I told her we had to stop. She rubbed a little ice on my clit to bring me back from the edge and then put me through thirteen minutes on the medium setting--applying the ice a few more times at critical moments. I was having to press my hips down into the bed to keep from thrusting them and I didn't think I could hold off for one more second when she finally shut off the vibrator. She tied my hands to the headboard so I'd behave myself during the night and pinned one of my legs with hers before she fell asleep so I couldn't rub my thighs together either. I lay there with my clit throbbing so hard I could almost see it in the dark, trying in vain to rub myself against the bed or her leg or anything else I could reach.

I've always been a bit weird about Doing This Stuff In Public. You know, the whole why-inflict-my- lifestyle-on-the-nice-normal-people thing. Last week after much talk, my GF and I decided to try something at a movie. My stipulations were that all clothes had to stay on and there could be no danger of us getting arrested. She came up with a solution; I cut a small hole on the inside of my front jeans pocket and ran the wire of a bullet vibe through the hole. The bullet went inside me and the jack plugged into a battery pack that fit into my pocket. Just a small one with three settings, not the pulsatron - the pulsatron's a wonderful thing but discreet it ain't.

I just added something from the sexual fantasies and guilt discussion on Jake's blog from, uh, August. Okay, I'm slow. Here's the node: http://tantalism.org/node/view/1769

I have never figured out what the different cards in the deck represent in the card game. I've mostly determined that diamonds involve the Pulsatron vibrator, the hearts are edges or near edges, and clubs are the Hitachi magic wand. Haven't a clue what spades are about. Seems to be different every time. The number cards seem to be about periods of time or numbers of certain things happening. Queens are orgasms of course.

The GF was right. After intense frustration and a sore forehead from banging it against the scale, the number finally went down. Not UNDER _00, mind you, just exactly THERE.

I went home and told her. She took me straight into the bedroom, threw me down and did me hard and fast. I think I came in under a minute. Very intense and sweet.

That was this morning. Tonight we're right back to the card game. ;) and no, I don't get my new toy yet - one more mark on the scale first.

pound their heads against the wall after getting on the scale, but probably not many of them do it with wet panties and a swollen clitoris. I just got back from the gym. The numbers on the scale have not budged--not even a little--and it'll be another week before I can get on the scale again. That means seven more days before I get a chance at some relief.

I showed my GF my food diary and program stuff and said, "Look, I'm being good, this isn't my fault, I think you should let me come anyway." She thought about it, seemed to be considering it and then said, "No, let's give it another week. If the numbers don't move by then, we'll see." She added that she's been trying all this time to find something that drives me so crazy that I'm actually willing to behave myself and (I think I already said this but) Follow my Fucking Program to avoid it. That thing is intense vaginal and G-spot stimulation with nothing touching the clitoris, except maybe some Liquid V or Ben-Gay. Heck, I could have told her that. Friday evening she actually got me to have a ruined orgasm or almostgasm that way. That was HORRIBLE. I had the contractions in my vagina--quite a few of them--but there was nothing else. No release, no sensation of intense pleasure, and afterward my clit was just as hard and swollen as it was before (more so maybe). She's getting some enthusiastic cunnilingus out of the deal so it's not like it's all work and no play or anything.