Db's blog

Here's one of many sexy events that happened in one weekend, over 10 years ago, with a deliciously kinky and gorgeous ex-fiancee who was also my 24/7 livestyle slave. We put aside all our obligations and activities that weekend, to be purely master and servant, with sex all weekend long. I'll post more stories at some point with the rest of it; it was probably the best weekend of my whole life.

I blindfolded her and tied her to a reclining chair, legs spread. bullet vibe inside her. Another small vibe strapped to her clit. Feathers hung down from the ceiling, tickling her exquisitely-sensitive nipples.

Lately I have been missing a former lover-- a former fiancee-- most intensely. I don't know why; perhaps it's because we met at this time of year. It's been almost 15 years now. I don't think I'll ever "get over" her.

She was my first and only 24/7 total sex slave. I have never had a relationship so intense. Or sex that was better. She was also perhaps the most physically beautiful woman I've ever been with, and she had an amazing body.

She and I were on the same wavelength sexually, right from the start. I've never experienced that before or since either. My single life was a continual parade of frustration, meeting vanilla girl after vanilla girl, and never finding anyone who was kinky in exactly the same way I was. Until I met this one.

I've blogged before about that type of touch, the type of attitude, that I have found best for teasing: one that is soothing yet arousing, makes you beg for relief yet makes you comfortable with not having it.

And I've noticed that it is always accompanied by a particular pattern of breathing, by the dom, as he or she is administering the torture.

Lots of inhaling. Breathing patterns that are loong, almost sucking-sounding inhalations, followed by short exhalations.

When I've been doing the teasing, I felt like was drinking in her whole body with by breath. It's a pulling, sucking sensation. And, in the Tantric sense, maybe that's exactly what is happening? Whether I'm using my fingers to graze over sensitive spots, or licking or sucking, or just placing my mouth near sensitive spots, the touch is... I don't know how to describe it except "come hither". A drawing, a beckoning. And that "oooh, you poor thing" attitude and voice goes particularly well with the sucking inhalation sound too.

It's been well over 10 years now, but I've just finally realized that an ex-girlfriend was an exhibitionist at the time.

Funny... guys... so dense we are... takes over a decade before some of us figure it out.

I'm remembering now that she always loved to get naked, in public, in groups. That didn't strike me as notable at the time, since I was such a poly-kink back then in my single days-- open to anything and trying everything. Plus it was California; being naked in the hot tub wasn't a big deal.

But looking back, she loved the hot tub. With friends. She always had lots of hot friends and she was always the first to take off her top, or all her clothes, and assure all the girls that it was OK and safe to do the same. She always made sure there were plenty of guys around, and it didn't take much for us to get naked especially since it meant we got to ogle the girls too. She just kind of exuded public nakedness.

For me, the primary turn-on in teasing is the attitude of simultaneous soothing and torment, of torturing and comforting, all at the same time. The attitude that gets me hottest-- both when teased or when teasing-- is one of "ooh, you poor thing, here let me make that better..." and of course making it much worse in the process of trying to soothe it. That just sends me through the roof. I love doing it; I love having it done to me.

It's been amusing through the years to identify exactly what "it" is about teasing that I love so much. I sense that my take on it is a little bit idiosyncratic, and it has been fun to try to pin down exactly how it's different. I've been lucky enough to have had a few partners throughout my life who feel the same way. I suppose spend so much time thinking about it these days because I don't have access to play with anyone who enjoys it. When I was single, I chose lovers based on whether or not they "got" this. Comparatively speaking, that process of elimination was easy or at least straightforward; communication is hard, especially something so subtle as this.

In many years of playing and teasing/orgasm-denial, both on the giving and receiving end, I've come to have a very nuanced , grey-area view of power exchange. Maybe it's because I'm really a switch at heart, or maybe this is a more universal phenomenon, I don't know.

Basically, who is doing the teasing, who is being teased? I've found that, in any really hot teasing/denial scene, it's both. At very least, it's a continuum, not a black-and-white thing.

Really focussing on teasing a woman turns me on, and indeed it is a tremendous tease for me to watch and hear and feel her wallow in her torment. Also, if she is helpless, and I'm doing the stimulation, and she is receiving it, and I'm not, who is really in control? Factor in the requirements of consensual play and negotiation, and the power-levelling effects of long-term relationships, and really, the "bottom" is as much the "top" as the "top" is the "bottom"-- the tease is mutual.

I was young (ah, youth!), had just broken up with a girlfriend of 4 years, and moved into a rather enormous 3-bedroom rented condo by myself, out in the way outer suburbs, but nearer my office. Sure it was a wasteful expense, but I'd saved up lots of money, been a workaholic just like my girlfriend for years, and now it was my time to play. After living with someone in a very small apartment for so long, the last thing I was in a hurry to get was roommates. However, I was just as horny as always.

It was the 4th of July weekend, 1993. And, alas, I was working. Well, not all weekend, but we were moving offices and I had volunteered to help out.