Archive - Feb 2012

Had an incredible afternoon today!!
Finally had time alone. He went and ran errands and I hopped in the bath, shaved and prepared myself. When he got back I was laying in bed and he came and sat down beside me. I slowly started touching him and he quickly got the idea that I was very interested in some play (I waited all week!).

After not thinking much about tantalism for a while, I had an image early this morning, not so much a dream, just a kind of vision, which I found pretty compelling.

It is fast approaching 2 months without orgasm, and I find myself reflecting on the journey so far, and to come.

I feel absolutely fine about the denial – I’ve mentally given up any claim to an orgasm. I don’t feel that I want, need or deserve one, on the contrary, I’m very happy to deny my body access to the pleasure that it wants so much. I love the thought of how long it might be, serving others sexually without being given release myself. I love the torment of it.