Archive - Aug 25, 2009

I messed up. The other day I was supposed to touch myself a certain way, and then be on no-touch until further notice. But I was short on sleep, and very rushed, and I put off my task because I wanted to savor it. So when I got up from a nap, and had about five minutes before I needed to get dressed, I tried to slip in a little self-stim. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought I'd just touch once or twice, but I got carried away. Then I thought maybe, even though it was rushed, this could count for my 15 strokes (that was my task). Then I realized I wasn't touching the way I was supposed to be, anyway, even though it was still light and teasing. Then I realized that I was just totally fucked. I have to admit that I kept touching a little bit even after this realization. I guess I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound. I stopped myself, finally, on the edge even though I hadn't once touched hard, and then it hit me. What I'd done. What I'd started doing almost inadvertently, half asleep, and then chosen to continue, awake. The betrayal of the trust my master places in me.