Archive - Jun 11, 2009

It has been a few months since I have posted here and since then there has been a lot happening with my Master and myself. My last denial session was somewhat intense and not a happy experience for me. Partly because of shit happening in our various lives and some gaps of time where he left me feeling very very alone. I began to question my place in his life, my importance to him. And all those things added up to what he calls "bumps in the road".

So after that period of denial, I began searching for ways to better myself, I began reading and studying on how to be a better submissive to him, on how to deal with my own feelings of letdown after a denial period, and just some general things that I feel I needed to improve in myself. What I found was a very good thing. Soul searching I guess... I realized that I was holding myself back on being a better submissive to him. I wasnt fully committing. So I began restructuring my thinking and dealing with these little setbacks as if it were a marriage...... So what if hes late coming to spend time with me, shit happens in life that delays us sometimes. What I learned was not to sweat those small things and to focus on what was right between us. Once I changed that mindset, things changed for us.

Well, I tried the poker chip game I mentioned in my last post, but I decided to ditch it after just a couple days. It's just not fun. It's almost a redux of the same old card games, and there's other, more interesting games I'd like to play. While constantly wondering whether you'll get to cum (or even edge) or not is fun, it's lacking the human element. It'd be much more interesting having someone to tease me.

Speaking of which, I've gotten a disappointing response to my request for participants in a vote. Which makes me sad. It sounded like fun. So far I've only got 3 responses, not really enough to hold a meaningful vote. It'd be almost more of a one-on-one tease rather than a vote. Though I'm up for that if you are! So if any of you girls are looking for a plaything to deny orgasm to, speak up! ;)