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Well, while edging before bed last night I had a little accident. I went a tiny bit too far, and had a ruined orgasm. There was no pleasure at all, just a couple little spurts, but when it was over I felt like I was 'done' for the night. No further interest in teasing.

Now, some people use ruined orgasms to further frustrate themselves/their sub, but oftentimes I find them a bit too relieving. So I wanted to avoid them during this stretch of denial.

But a few hours later, I woke up horny and had to edge... And god damn if I didn't need to cum even worse than before! So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

So I finally touched her clit, but only once, and only for the purpose of putting the Tiger Balm on it. For this I restrained her first--arms and legs spread out on the bed. Blindfolded. Smacked her thighs a few times with a crop. Then the Tiger Balm and as her clit burned I started fucking her with a silicone dildo and kept thrusting into her with it for about half an hour. After a while clamped her nipples. God she was panting. Short quick strokes, long full strokes, the thick head of the dildo in and out of her each time. Told her I didn't care if she came or not but she didn't--it just wasn't the right stimulation to put her over.

The need to cum has become a lot more intense today. I'm wanting it even more than ever now... I'm still squirming, bouncing my legs, and curling my toes as I write this, minutes after I stopped my last edging session.

When I edge I think about how I'm feeling, and how I might have to endure that feeling for weeks! But it doesn't really register... I'm in denial, in more ways than one. Not even truly realizing what I'm up against.

Tonight I'm a little less sensitive, but I still want that orgasm just as bad. I think of how wonderful it would be when I'm at the edge, and it drives me crazy, wanting it so bad and not being able to have it. And the feeling is wonderful. No, terrible. No wait, wonderful!